Category: Cold

fmlh

2/27/2013

want to know what the 'h' stands for? hard. fuck my life, hard.

don't worry. there won't be any nsfw photos in this entry to illustrate that point. because i'm on a loaner computer that i can't save anything to. not even a screenshot. how exactly am i supposed to do work? i had to email a pdf from my work account to my personal account just to view it. i'm not even gonna TRY to print anything.

so, that's one of the reasons the fmlh — computer woes. apparently, my hard drive is wonky. and i could have him back maybe today. maybe tomorrow. maybe have to order me a new one.

and this loaner? it's trackpad doesn't even work. so if i ever take it somewhere, i have to drag along an external mouse. but why would i take it anywhere when the only thing i can do on it is email? basically, i can do more with my phone than this computer.

why else fmlh? i'm sick. i'm coming down with a cold. and i've been fighting it tooth and nail since day one. (i'm not sure why a cold would be afraid of teeth and claws, but it's an expression none-the-less.) and it seems that the harder i fight it, the longer i stay in this "almost-sick" place. maybe i should just let it happen.

but the weather's not helping. it's cold. and rainy. and i forgot my umbrella. and no cabs are ever available in the rain. (well, until you're a block away from home and a cabby actually pulls over and asks if you need a ride even though your arm isn't out.)

and we're busy. "work towards this meeting that we'll cancel," and all that.

i dunno, there's a lot to complain about. it's february and i feel like that's a blue month. like an indigo, dark blue. not like a spring day blue. i can't wait for a spring day blue kind of month.

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you must be over 21 for this box

10/11/2012

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julibox.com

i just got my first julibox in the mail. sadly, it's collection #2. i missed out on collection #1. but i think i'm still one of the first kids on this drinking train.

why do i think that? a couple reasons. first? i had to wait months for my birchbox subscription/membership, but juli accepted me right away. second? i don't think they're 100% buttoned up yet. (they're still figuring out their store situation, and there was a slight problem with one of their mixipes.)

i have no fear that they'll get there. or that others won't follow my tipsy lead and get their own subscription/membership. and in the meantime, i can enjoy my hand-selected drinking adventures regardless.

see, juli curates monthly cocktail deliveries. you get all the spirits and mixers you need to make 4 drinks (2 of each mixipe included). plus, if you need anything else like fresh herbs or fruit, you get an email reminder to grab them before your box arrives. so you can enjoy as soon as the box hits your doorstep (or in my case, the ups at 325 houston where i have to pick mine up).

so, this new addition to one-off blogging reviews the contents of my box. (again, minds OUT of the gutter.)

first, i had the bramble 75.

now, as you know, i don't like gin. but i liked this fine. it reminds me of a cocktail i've had at single brothers. no, not the infamous and beloved "old girl." the champagne and st germain one that's called a french-something-or-other.

which is interesting, because the bramble 75 is based on the french 75.

it's also supposed to be pink in honor of breast cancer month. i'm all for honoring breast cancer. but does that >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
look pink to you? kinda purple, if you ask me. so, perfect for pancreatic cancer month.

this recipe is the one where juli kinda fucked up. i got an email to get lemons, blackberries and cinnamon sticks for this box. and this recipe called for the juice of half a lemon, but never told me what to do with it. so, as i do, i winged it.

you'll need:
3/4 oz* hendrick's gin (included)
3/4 oz* chambored black raspberry liqueur (included)
1/2 bottle** mionetto prosecco (included)
the juice of half a lemon
a lemon twist
blackberries (optional)
ice
shaker
wine or champagne glass (i chose to use a czech crystal tumbler because i never have reason to pull them out)

*3/4 oz is like half an airplane bottle.
**you have eyeballs. eyeball it.

so, juli said to pour all spirits into the shaker over ice and shake. strain it into a wine glass over fresh ice. top with prosecco. garnish with lemon twist and optional blackberries. juli also noted that you could serve it in a champagne glass sans ice.

what i actually did was shake the gin and chambored with the lemon juice and poured over ice. then i poured in half the bottle of prosecco. i was kinda hesitant to shake a bubbly — just saying, juli.

i liked it. both glasses of it. despite my gin-dislike. it even came with a cute toast: "may all your joys be pure joys, and all your pain champagne."

there's also supposed to be a video online of how to make each collection. collection #2 must be coming soon, as i've only seen collection #1. the video might clear up what to do with the lemon juice. hell, the lemon juice could have been a typo and i didn't need it at all.

next? the autumn sling.

i liked this one better. probably mainly for it's lack of gin. or because it was second and my cheeks were already a little pink. or because i really enjoyed playing with the cinnamon stick — ALSO probably because my cheeks were already a little pink. (i even googled how to harvest cinnamon. cinnamon is a tree. i don't think i ever really thought about that.)

this one: also not pink. but it was seasonally right on. added bonus: as a "sling" it could be served hot OR cold. juli seemed to suggest cold. but i bet it would be pretty good hot. and a hot bevvie would be so clutch in this fledgling cold weather.

the toast: "may your house always be too small to hold all of your friends." (not hard in my new yourk.)

you'll need:
3/4 oz basil hayden's 8 year old bourbon (included)
3/4 oz domain de canton ginger liqueur (included)
1 oz martinelli apple juice (included)
the juice of half a lemon (this time i was told what to do with it)
lemon peel
cinnamon stick (optional)
ice
shaker
rocks glass

so yeah, you dump the spirits and juices in a shaker over ice, shake, and strain into a rocks glass over fresh ice. garnish with lemon peel and optional cinnamon stick.

*as always, all shitty photos taken with my iphone. and drink your box with responsibility, people.

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shit i'm making TONIGHT

10/2/2012

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so, how does it work? i pin the shit i'm making TONIGHT and then i make it. maybe according to directions, maybe not. i'm that kind of cook. then the next day i update my pin description as to how it went, what i did differently and (most importantly) how it tastes.

then i blog the recipes, always naming my source, of course.

last night in my counterless small-space nyc kitchen? lemon-parsely beef brisket from marksdailyapple and creamy lemon-chive zucchini noodles from martha stewart. i really wanted matching flavor profiles for my main and side. and i don't know if i can express how well these flavors went together. the two were a little soupy on the plate and they just melded beautifully together in this wonderfully yummy happy accident. it could be the wine drunk during the 3 hour cooking time talking, but i was in heaven.

somehow without any butter in the dishes at all, there was this overall butteriness to my plate. it's like the acidity of the lemons reacted with the meat and the cream to break down their flavors and bring out their inner-butter.

plus. if you're in the dairy phase of your diet, the whole thing is totally paleo.

what kind of wine goes with this meal, do you ask? well, not having made these recipes before, i was kind of winging it. so i went with an old standby: cab sauv.

now, knowing what i know, i'd go more peppery. i think a zinfandel could really complement the lemon-buttery flavor i experienced. or, if there were such thing as a peppery white wine ... maybe a gruner veltliner?

the meal is really rich. you don't want a "meaty" wine to distract you from the flavors. and the absence of root vegetables make the beef taste differently from there other things you've shoved in the oven for hours on end.

it was a nice surprise.

did i do anything differently than the recipe called for? not really. i added pepper to both.

but my first instinct was to sauté the zucchini noodles in their dressing and some butter. i'm really glad i didn't, so i could experience them as intended. i was a little skeptical. but they were SO good as is. maybe i'll try cooking them tonight when i try my leftovers.

ok, enough preamble. let's do this.

lemon-parsley brisket

you'll need:
a 3 lb brisket
6 cloves garlic
2-4 pinches sea salt
freshly ground black pepper
the zest of a lemon
olive oil
the juice of 3 lemons
3 cups water
3 large leeks
a handful finely chopped parsley
an oven friendly pan with lid (or aluminum foil)

what you'll do:
bring your brisket to room temperature — yes, this step is important. and preheat your oven to 325 degrees.

while you do that wash your leeks and cut off the dark green parts. slice them down the middle, i actually quartered mine, and slice thinly. set aside.

it's time to juice and zest your lemons. a couple tips:

before you cut open a lemon for juicing, roll it with pressure, using the palm and heel of your hand on a flat surface until it feels softer.

there are all kinds of fancy lemon juice strainers out there. i just use my hand.

i squeeze the lemon into it and let my fingers filter out the seeds. i imagine that's the way my grandma would do it ...

you just don't want to have a paper cut or a hangnail.

lemon zest can seem to take forever. but remember to scrape the back of your grater to get the stage 5 clingers left there. lemon zest is pretty sticky.

next, finely chop your garlic cloves. what you want to do is make a paste out of the garlic. i'm assuming you could use a food processor to do this. but, there's no room for a food processor in my new yourk kitchen. so i followed the advice of the recipe.

i sprinkled the garlic with a large pinch of sea salt. (luckily, i was working on the section of my cutting board that i'd used to slice and zest my lemons. so the paste got all juicy and nice.) then you "crush" the garlic with the flat of your knife. really grind it down, using both hands. i chopped a little as i went. it really did end up as a paste. (please be careful.)

once you have your paste, mix it with the lemon zest, another large pinch of sea salt and some pepper. (i used a lot of pepper.) and rub about half of it all over your meat.

wash your hands and heat some olive oil, about 5 good splashes, in your oven safe pan over medium-high heat. how do you know if your pan is oven safe? i found a handy video.

luckily, my lid had a sticker on it that declared it not oven safe. so, the pan did fine with aluminum foil on top. i'd kinda assume your glass lid isn't oven safe unless it specifically says. there ARE some made out of pyrex that are oven safe.

seared

anyway, sear your brisket on either side and remove the meat.

add your lemon juice and water to the pot and bring it to a boil. if there's any meat or garlic-zest stuck to the bottom, unstick it.

rub the rest of your garlic zest on your meat and put it back in the pan and place the leeks around it — not on top, cover with aluminum foil and throw it in the oven.

i did 2 hours and 45 minutes, then threw my parsley in and cooked for 15 more minutes, uncovered.

it worked out really well if i DO say so myself. i added salt and pepper and hunkered down to eat.

this was amazing. but i hear it will be even better tonight. we shall see.

halfway through cooking, i was dying of hunger. so i have a plate of the cold zucchini. and that's what made me decide not to cook it, it was THAT good.

creamy lemon-chive zucchini "noodles"

what you'll need:
the juice of one lemon
sea salt
1 cup light cream
a handful minced chives
2 medium zucchini
a veggie peeler
a small jar or lidded container

what you'll do:
first, you make the dressing. i hate recipes that tell you you'll need 1/4 cup creamy-lemon-chive-dressing and then send you off to another place to find that. so, we're going to start there here.

in your lidded container, combine the lemon juice and a large pinch of sea salt. shake it like a polaroid picture, or until the salt is dissolved.

add the cream and chives and shake again. in fact, shake it every time you use it. season it with salt. it'll last in your fridge up to a week. (but you'll want to eat it all up before then, i guarantee you.)

martha's recipe called for a julienne blade on a mandoline. fuck you, martha. not all of us have the kitchen storage of a media mogul. she even called for fleur de sel. fuck you someplace fairly uncomfortable, martha. regular sea salt did me fine.

so i peeled the zucchini and cut off the ends. then i used the exact same peeler to peel off ribbons. stop when you hit seeds. do this all around the zucchini and then throw the seedy middle away. who wants a seedy middle?

you're supposed to put it in a colander over a mixing bowl and sprinkle with salt. letting it sit for 15 minutes. then you're supposed to gently squeeze the zucchini to extract excess water. damn wine, i forgot.

so i just threw some on a plate, dressed it and ate it. i didn't notice it being excessively watery. so, again, take that martha.

you know what else wasn't very watery?

sassy detox water (found here)

you'll need:
a lemon, sliced
a peeled cucumber, sliced
a tsp grated fresh ginger
about 10 fresh mint leaves
a quart and a half of water
a 2 quart pitcher

what you'll do:
throw it all in the pitcher and let it sit overnight.

it's supposed to taste great, even as a substitute for soda or coffee. it's supposed to give you energy. it's supposed to make you feel great. it's supposed to jumpstart your metabolism. it's supposed to help you lose weight.

i had to MAKE myself drink it this morning. it was so gross. it's no soda or coffee, trust me. i don't have any more energy. i don't feel any better — or worse, to be fair. my metabolism seems to be metabolizing at a regular rate. and i haven't miraculously shed any pounds.

in fact, i kind of feel like a slugged down a laxative with a fiber-spiked cup of decaf coffee. in short, gross.

i guess that just proves that not all things you see on pinterest are worth pinning. which is exactly why you should follow my board.

what am i having tonight, you wonder? probably leftovers. i've been thinking about them all day. i might have to try a different wine, though. oh, and i have no microwave. so i'll have to get all old-skool on the reheat.

i'll let you know if the brisket is truly better the next day.

what do you want me to try next? i have a "things are getting paleo up in here" board and a "great, now i'm hungry" board to choose from. because i'm not paleo. i just date one. or, suggest a pin you've always wanted to try. i pretty much eat anything. except babies, so no lamb or veal.

happy pinning!

*all shitty photos taken with my about to be replaced iphone 3GS.

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"eat" is just "heat" minus an 'h'

7/17/2012

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what do you eat when the ac is out? something cold. that requires little-to-no cooking.

i made sweet corn salad.

roast 4 ears of corn in the oven at 350 degrees for 15-20 minutes. (by "roast" i mean cut off the kernels, toss in olive oil/champagne vinegar/salt&pepper and put it all on a cookie sheet.)

while it roasts, chop a half a red onion, a handful of cilantro, a clove of garlic, half a fresh banana pepper and two small deseeded tomatoes.

put the corn in with everything and toss it with the juice of a lemon/olive oil/citrus champagne vinegar/salt&pepper.

it's good and not hot.

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finally. lemon chicken soup.

7/6/2012

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it's ridiculous how easy it is to go from chicken stock to lemon chicken soup. ridiculous. all it takes is this: strain the stock, reserving the chicken. shred the chicken and put into the stock over medium heat. grab 6 lemons and 6 eggs.

juice the lemons (as shown) and separate the eggs (white from yolk).

beat the yolks until frothy.

add in half the whites, beat again.

add the lemon juice, beat again.

add 2 cups of the hot chicken broth — slowly — beating as you go. the point is to heat up the egg without cooking it, so that when you introduce it to the heated broth the eggs don't scramble.

remove the broth and chicken from heat and add the egg/lemon/broth, stirring as you go.

now, here's where it gets interesting. if you're paleo, you stop here and eat soup. but traditional greek avgolemono (greek for "lemon chicken soup") calls for rice. i don't like rice. and i'm not 100% paleo. so i use orzo.

but you don't want to leave orzo sitting in your soup in the fridge. it absorbs liquid and your soup becomes "stoup" as my partner calls it.

so, i cook a half cup of orzo according to package directions per individual cup of soup.

because, cooking for one, i eat it one to two bowls at a time and leave the entire thing in the fridge for up to two weeks.

yes. for up to two weeks.

just pour soup over the cooked orzo after straining it.

be fancy and garnish with italian parsley if you're having company. if not, don't.

and that's the best "fracking" recipe i have. do it.

*this post dedicated to mary russo. for being able to find me "that lemon chicken soup without rice that i had that one time" when i was deathly ill.

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stock it up

7/6/2012

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open on a naked chicken. you could throw it into a pot of boiling water and cook the crap out of it all my it's little lonesome. but it takes so much better when cooked with friends.

and a good stock is paramount to a good soup. without it, it's like a movie with no previews to get you warmed up or like not exfoliating before you spray tan.

you'll need: a big pot
2 quarts water
32 oz chicken stock (from last time or store-bought)
a whole chicken (i butchered mine. literally.)
2 lemons cut up and wrapped in cheesecloth (because i'll be making lemon chicken soup)
celery
onion
garlic
fresh bay leaves
salt and pepper

here's what i did:
i bought bulb onions, because i like the flavor. i cut 6 of them into wedges and peeled an entire bulb of garlic.

i sauteed the onion and garlic in a little olive oil and salt and pepper for about 10 minutes while i butchered my chicken.

then i threw the chicken in and gave it all a stir. i waited another five minutes and poured the water and stock over the chicken and veggies.

i added an entire bunch of celery, including the leaves (i'm weird and like to pick out the stalks that aren't fully green. so, not really the entire bunch.) and 6 fresh bay leaves as well as the lemons in cheesecloth.

then i cooked it, covered, over medium-high heat for 2 hours. which is about the time i woke up on the sofa, realizing i wasn't going to make it to full-fledged soup that night.

so, i threw it all in the fridge to make soup later. (that blog coming soon.)

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mid-soup salad

7/6/2012

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it's like a pizza salad

making soup takes an ass-long time. especially if you're starting with stock. and ultra-especially if you have a cold.

the house smells all lovely like warmth and food — and all i want to do is nosh.

so, i always have a mid-soup salad while it's cooking.

this one was particularly good.
ingredients:
baby arugula
fresh basil, lightly chopped
tomato
red onion
black olives
pepperoni, cut into wedges
i topped it all off with champagne vinaigrette

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doctor's orders

7/6/2012

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i'm gonna do a multi-part post on the odyssey that was my cold remedy cooking adventure this week. i started with hot toddies. well, not your traditional hot toddies. but hot toddies none-the-less. they might have been the reason i never made it past chicken stock in the soup-making process.

this will actually be pretty simple...

get yourself a bourbon that you like. other ingredients:
3 oranges
whole cloves (about 24)
whole allspice (about 10 in cheesecloth)
honey (quarter cup)
brown sugar (two tablespoons)
water

preheat your oven to 350 degrees

pierce two of the oranges with cloves (as seen to your left) and bake them for 30 minutes.

meanwhile, on the stove, put 2 cups of bourbon and 2 cups of water into a pot on medium-low heat.

slice the other orange into small wedges and throw them into the pot.

add a quarter cup of honey, two tablespoons of brown sugar and the allspice.

when the cloved-oranges are done, use tongs to put them into the pot.

cook for another 30 minutes. you should eat something. (don't make my mistake.)

drink one to two cups, or until you can go to sleep. breathe in the fumes, they'll clear your sinuses.

and don't hot toddy with cold medication. that's dumb.

the whole thing will keep in the fridge for reheating for a few days. just add more bourbon, water, honey and brown sugar then reheat.

you'll feel better in no time.

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lemon-pork rice-noodle soup for the cold

4/15/2012

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lemon-pork rice-noodle soup for the cold

i don't follow recipes. i don't write recipes down. i cook.

and today, i have a cold and no desire to leave the apartment. so, i had to cook what i had on hand. and it is bangin'.

first, a cooked two pork tenderloins in water for four hours with two lemons with holes poked in them, most of a bulb of garlic, a half a red onion, fresh bay leaves, champagne vinegar, celery salt, ground mustard, ground red pepper and salt and pepper.

oh, and fatback stock. yes. i have home-made fatback stock on hand. don't judge.

then i strained it all out, shredded the pork and put it back in the broth. i brought it all back to a boil and added some rice noodles. boiled it all together for four minutes.

best cold remedy ever. just sayin'.

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fmlh

you must be over 21 for this box

shit i'm making TONIGHT

"eat" is just "heat" minus an 'h'

finally. lemon chicken soup.

stock it up

mid-soup salad

doctor's orders

lemon-pork rice-noodle soup for the cold

Rachel

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