wait. was there other news i was supposed to tell you?
hmmmm... what was it?
|rachel writes on||
i think that calls for a new FB profile pic, don't you?
wait. was there other news i was supposed to tell you?
hmmmm... what was it?
dude. pinterest just gave me access to someone's spank bank. it cannot be unseen.
they're not done
there are 3 things that are paramount when making greens:
1. a good potsticker. every time you make greens, you save the "juice." that serves as your base for your next batch. it's called "potsticker." i've been working on mine now for years. seriously. i'm going to have to figure out how to dry ice it and mail it up to new york. again, seriously.
2. wash them real good. then wash them again. then wash them again. greens are gritty. and sandy. and buggy. especially when you buy local. and you literally have to wash them for about an hour. don't believe me? ask my intern.
3. and then you cook the fuck out of 'em. greens are bitter. and if you don't cook them long enough, they stay bitter. and no one wants bitter greens. do yourself a favor and cook them until they're darker in color, kinda mushy and not bitter at all. all you should really taste is your potsticker. if you taste green, cook them longer. remember, greens aren't done until they're done.
two bunches of greens (they cook WAY down)
a yellow onion
a couple garlic cloves
a ham hock or two (they come packaged as two)
potsticker (or chicken stock if you're just starting out)
vinegar (white, tarragon or champagne. not apple cider, balsamic or red wine)
how do you wash greens? it's called a "white bowl wash." basically, you wash it in a colander while you remove the spines. then you soak it in a white bowl. then you colander it again. then you bowl it again. and you keep doing this until there's no grit at the bottom of your bowl. see the grit (above)? gross.
then you lay it out on paper towels to dry.
if you need to defrost your potsticker, do that before you start washing.
chop up your onion and garlic and sauté them in some hot olive oil in your pot. as they start to get translucent, add the ham hock. let that cook a little, just to get the smell of ham in the air and let the taste soak into the onions.
then you pour in your potsticker/chicken stock.
how do you cut greens quickly and efficiently? pile them all up (into about 4 or 5 bundles) and roll them like a cigar. grasp the bundle and slice it length-wise down the middle. then slice small sections all down the length — about 10-12.
throw your greens in the pot. pour in enough chicken stock to cover the greens.
keep it on medium-high heat until it boils. then turn it on down to simmer for 3 hours (or more).
add vinegar and spices to taste. it will take a lot.
save the potsticker for next time, throw out the ham hock and eat you some greens.
what do you drink while making greens?
moonshine. but i didn't have any.
so i did sake. whatevs.
i might have to learn how to install screens.
or, live in a highrise:
remember my oral history idea, and my grandfather, sam cook? well, my dad went to the grocery store and saw some melons, and it reminded him of these stories.
he said, "at least one of these might be true."
one summer, around the fourth of july pawpaw sam got it in his head that people were going to drive up to lake lure for the holiday. not a bad plan.
so he finds this guy, june harrold, who has a truck that he hauls pianos in. but june can't drive. so in factuality, he rides around in a truck with pianos. you always know it's june because there's a long trail of tobacco spit running down the passenger side of the truck.
so they haul some watermelons from the garden up to lake lure.
it was such a good idea that everyone had the same one. watermelon-trucks all lined up on the highway as far as the eye can see.
they hung around, sold a few watermelons at $2 a pop, then headed home with a truckload of melons.
on the way home, pawpaw sam did some math and said, "june, we got some of those melons out of the garden. but i'd bought a few from the grocery at $2 a pop. and we sold a few at $2 a pop."
june screwed his face up, thinking about that math and he said, "i'm sorry sam. next time we'll bring the bigger truck."
that was the first story. the second happened in town. no more hauling melons around for pawpaw sam. he had a pile of ripe ones that had been sitting out in the hot sun for maybe a couple days. so he sets him up a booth and decides to sell them up.
a woman stops, picks her out a melon, buys it and heads home. she comes back and says, "that melon was bad. i threw it out." so pawpaw sam gives her another one and she goes on her merry way.
well, she came back. she'd thrown it away AGAIN.
fool me once? sure. twice? no.
pawpaw sam drives the biggest, cleaveriest knife he can find into the biggest, prettiest melon in the booth.
and the nasty, rotten, fermented melon shot out like a champagne cork all over that poor woman. and he gave her her $2 back.
now, i ask you, who's the fool?
finally, the third melon story. pawpaw sam's selling watermelons again for $2 a pop. and a little onld lady buys herself one. she gives him a five dollar bill. so he owed her three dollars in change.
pawpaw sam says, "they're selling these at the grocery store for $3. i'll tell you what, i'll give you two for $5."
and she took it!
i just don't get why so many single ladies have a pinterest called "wedding," "someday," or "dreams." you know what else is so perplexing? a lot of married women have them too. and keep them up to date.
but this is what i'd imagine don draper has for dinner.
an extra dirty belvedere martini with three olives, an extra large fillet mignon and an arugula salad.
why do i imagine that? it's what i have for dinner when someone else is paying for it.
but last night? i made it. here's how:
first, the perfect extra dirty vodka martini. IMPERATIVE.
get a vodka you like. my favorite is actually three olives. but belevedere will do in a crunch. (i sound so snobby)
first, take a splash of dry vermouth and swirl it around your glass, coating the inside. then dump it out.
then mix ice (a handful), vodka (a 5 count) and olive juice (a drunken splash) in a shaker.
pour it, minus ice into your vermouthed glass. garnish with three olives and drink your face off.
if you're still standing after your 'tini-tasm, it's time to make dinner.
first things first: heat a grilling pan over medium-high heat and a broiling pan in the broiler set at low.
OR, better first things first: bring your meat to room temp. seriously.
i like irish butter. so i take irish butter, a diced garlic clove, and salt&pepper and hand knead it into the meat.
then i sear the outside in the grilling pan — one minute per side.
throw it into the broiler for three minutes per side.
and it's time to make the salad.
i love arugula. and you KNOW i love cilantro. so i did greens of arugula with cilantro.
then added diced fresh banana pepper and red onion. then i spritzed it with the juice of half a lemon with a bit of citrus-champagne vinegar and olive oil. salt and pepper that shit, and you're good.
i cannot tell you how good this was. i licked my plate.
watching "storage wars."
that's someone's life you're yepping on, people. crazy.
blogged from my iphone.
what do you eat when the ac is out? something cold. that requires little-to-no cooking.
i made sweet corn salad.
roast 4 ears of corn in the oven at 350 degrees for 15-20 minutes. (by "roast" i mean cut off the kernels, toss in olive oil/champagne vinegar/salt&pepper and put it all on a cookie sheet.)
while it roasts, chop a half a red onion, a handful of cilantro, a clove of garlic, half a fresh banana pepper and two small deseeded tomatoes.
put the corn in with everything and toss it with the juice of a lemon/olive oil/citrus champagne vinegar/salt&pepper.
it's good and not hot.
i'm an advertising copywriter who had this idea one day to blog. one-off blog, one day this and one day that. because i'm an expert at pretty much nothing, i figured i'd write about everything.