he said, "at least one of these might be true."
one summer, around the fourth of july pawpaw sam got it in his head that people were going to drive up to lake lure for the holiday. not a bad plan.
so he finds this guy, june harrold, who has a truck that he hauls pianos in. but june can't drive. so in factuality, he rides around in a truck with pianos. you always know it's june because there's a long trail of tobacco spit running down the passenger side of the truck.
so they haul some watermelons from the garden up to lake lure.
it was such a good idea that everyone had the same one. watermelon-trucks all lined up on the highway as far as the eye can see.
they hung around, sold a few watermelons at $2 a pop, then headed home with a truckload of melons.
on the way home, pawpaw sam did some math and said, "june, we got some of those melons out of the garden. but i'd bought a few from the grocery at $2 a pop. and we sold a few at $2 a pop."
june screwed his face up, thinking about that math and he said, "i'm sorry sam. next time we'll bring the bigger truck."
that was the first story. the second happened in town. no more hauling melons around for pawpaw sam. he had a pile of ripe ones that had been sitting out in the hot sun for maybe a couple days. so he sets him up a booth and decides to sell them up.
a woman stops, picks her out a melon, buys it and heads home. she comes back and says, "that melon was bad. i threw it out." so pawpaw sam gives her another one and she goes on her merry way.
well, she came back. she'd thrown it away AGAIN.
fool me once? sure. twice? no.
pawpaw sam drives the biggest, cleaveriest knife he can find into the biggest, prettiest melon in the booth.
and the nasty, rotten, fermented melon shot out like a champagne cork all over that poor woman. and he gave her her $2 back.
now, i ask you, who's the fool?
finally, the third melon story. pawpaw sam's selling watermelons again for $2 a pop. and a little onld lady buys herself one. she gives him a five dollar bill. so he owed her three dollars in change.
pawpaw sam says, "they're selling these at the grocery store for $3. i'll tell you what, i'll give you two for $5."
and she took it!