rachel writes on
  • rachel blogs
  • rachel writes advertising
  • rachel has adventures
  • rachel ryans

shhhh ... it's a secret

10/17/2012

0 Comments

 
wow, it's been a while. basically, because the one and only thing that's been on my mind is not my thing to share. so i can't. and i'm worried i'll let it slip the more i type. 

but, you can keep a secret, right? so can i, bitches.

i remember before i started typing my thoughts onto this blog i said, "i don't blog because i'm afraid people will read it. i don't tweet because i'm afraid people won't." first it was a facebook status, then it was this:
Picture
see? i said that.
why did i worry people would read my blog? because i was afraid i'd censor myself. i'm crazy weird on the inside and think totally inappropriate things that sometimes just fall out of my mouth. and maybe you'd think i'm weird. or maybe you wouldn't like what i had to say. or maybe i'm not the person you think i am.

so with that in mind, why was i afraid no one would read me on twitter? because weird feels more appropriate 140 characters at a time? no. because it's a social sharing engine. you want people to read you. you expect them to read you. so you tone the weird down.

and then somehow people started reading the blog. and it seemed no one was reading my tweets. so i was right. 

and twitter became my safe place where i could say "penis" for no reason or share my political beliefs without the Facebook nazi's belittling them or even just put a "secret" out there into the ether if i needed to get it off my chest.  until this happened:
Picture
no, it's not just that my mom doesn't do twitter. but it was funnier that way. it seemed like no one at all was listening. and somehow, i had a little privacy and anonymity on a social network.
and that wasn't all. but it was the beginning. a tweet about my safespace, twitter, was favorited. retweeted. responded to. people sent me personal emails. they'd heard me.

and now, shit, you're reading it too. so now that my entire brain is consumed by this thing i can't tell, i feel like i can't say anything else. because you're listening. and i might slip up.

then i read about this guy: 
Picture
he's not a real guy. i mean, he's a real guy. but we'll call him "that guy" and "this guy" because we don't know what to call him.
since 2007, some guy has tweeted and facebooked as that guy, "dave on wheels," a 24-year-old deaf quadriplegic with cerebral palsy. but he's not that guy. that guy's name isn't even dave. it's hunter.

i mean, what that guy did was wrong. he says he was trying to be a motivational inspiration. and to many he was. but he's also been accused of pretending to be that guy to get close online with pretty girls. and he was close online with a lot of pretty girls. (seems like a kinda fair accusation)

but that doesn't mean that i can't just take his lead and go be someone else, right? why couldn't i just go off and blog/tweet/book as " beyond bridgette" or "susie smiles" and spill my secret?

but, dammit. it's still not my secret to tell. 

so you'll have to wait for new apartment photos, to know which kitchen island i chose, or for the "black steak chimichurri" "shit i'm making TONIGHT" pinterest post. because i'm currently consumed by this secret that isn't even mine. 
0 Comments

mom, shut your eyes when you read this post

10/9/2012

0 Comments

 
this is where rachelwriteson "started." as an idea:
Picture
and i actually started using an acne face wash. i took one photo, the "before." then i never really followed through. that should have signaled doom for my one-off blog idea. i have no follow through. but here i am writing a one-off blog entry, and here you are reading a one-off blog entry.

you'll never see the "i ordered an acne wash that takes 3 weeks and here's my 'before' photo" photo-a-day blog. mainly because i have no idea what i did with that photo, but also because the entry would just be a pic of me with acne. 

you've seen plenty of "my boyfriend is a caveman and i cooked paleo once" food blogs. and i owe you some "shit i'm making TONIGHT" entries, because i've been cooking up a storm. but, i thought i'd address the "i had crazy sex adventures that one time" sex blog.

hence the mom-shutting-her-eyes part. except that, really, i'm gonna be pretty pg about this. 

so this one night, i was out with friends. one was a fellow copywriter. a DUDE writer. and we got to talking about "50 shades of gray," which neither of us has actually read, and decided we could do better. you know, a danielle-steele-esque sexcapade novel that both girls AND guys would want to read.

then we drank more and it turned into something else all together. see, both of us are in successful adult relationships. but there are still times when i'm like, "what in the hell does THAT mean?" or he's like, "what's the right answer in 'does this make me look fat?' situations?". 

so, we decided to write something else entirely. kind of a handbook for the opposite sex. or, at least that's how i remember it. there was wine. and a lot of it. 

the next day, he sent me some topics: foreplay, hooking up on first date, meeting the fam, what you look for in the opposite sex, signals, marriage, and cheating. i sent back more topics: porn, the morning after, pregnancy scare, sharing 'numbers', "we were on a break," one night stand, "i kissed a girl," work wives, the second kiss is actually the important kiss, the proper answer to "does this make me look fat?" is always sex, girls share everything with their friends (including that picture of your penis you sent to her phone), who has to sleep in the wet spot, and to snuggle or not to snuggle. (don't worry mom, i'm not an expert on all those topics. but i know enough people who are to do the research.)

and that's where it ended. except that i soft-lobbed the idea to a couple friends — a "would you read this?" sort of thing. and they got excited at the idea. i never told the dude. so, question for you: would you read it? 

what if it were one of those books that on one side is for "her" called "Walking on Mars" written by a dude and on the other is for "him" called "Vacationing on Venus" written by a girl like me? and they cover off on the same topics chapter-by-chapter. 

all under pseudonyms, of course. for honesty and privacy's sake. and now that the idea is out there on the interwebbings, really, it could be ANYONE writing it. even the mustachioed man :{0 
0 Comments
    Picture

    Rachel

    i'm an advertising copywriter who had this idea one day to blog. one-off blog, one day this and one day that. because i'm an expert at pretty much nothing, i figured i'd write about everything.

    email rachel
    get rachelwriteson in your inbox

    RSS Feed

    Archives

    August 2016
    March 2013
    February 2013
    January 2013
    December 2012
    November 2012
    October 2012
    September 2012
    August 2012
    July 2012
    June 2012
    May 2012
    April 2012

    One-Off Topics

    All
    2012
    21 Jump Street
    2girlsonedate
    9/11
    Acne
    Adult
    Advertising
    Agency
    Alexa
    Alice Bag
    Amuche Bouche
    Andrea
    Angry Typing
    Anonymity
    Apartment
    Apocalypse
    Autumn Sling
    Bacon
    Bad Boy
    Bathroom
    Batshit
    Battitude
    Bette Midler
    Bills
    Blog
    Boiled Eggs
    Boobs
    Boogers
    Book Review
    Bored
    Box
    Bramble 75
    Brown Butter
    Calendar
    Catfish
    Cats
    Cat Scratch Fever
    Caviar
    Cece
    Celebrity Blog
    Celine Dion
    Cellphone
    Channing Scale
    Channing Tatum
    Chicken Stock
    Cilantro
    Cilantro-lime Chicken
    Cinnamon
    Cockroach
    Cold
    Collard Greens
    Collards
    Contract
    Cookbook
    Cooking
    Craigslist
    Crazy
    Crazy Stupid Love
    Creamy Lemon Chive Zucchini
    Dad
    Daria
    Date
    Dave On Wheels
    Dawson's Creek
    Day One
    Decoy Bride
    Devil
    Deviled Eggs
    Dmv
    Drinking
    Dumbassery
    Emails
    Emma Stone
    Emoticon
    End Of The World
    Facebook
    Facebook Stalk
    Fail
    Fashion
    Fatback
    Faux Pho
    Fmlh
    Forcefield
    Four Horses
    Fuckyousandy
    Funny
    Geographically Single
    Get You Killed
    Gin
    God
    Googled
    Google Stalk
    Gosling
    Green Ring
    Greens
    Growing Up
    Gutter
    Halloween
    Hangover
    Hashtag
    Hector Elizondo
    Hey Girl
    Honey Boo Boo
    Hovels
    How To
    Hunter Dunn
    I
    I
    I
    I Did It
    Iphone
    Iron Man
    Island
    I Voted
    Jalapeno
    Jalapeño Deviled Eggs
    Jfk
    John
    Joke
    Jorts
    Judge Me
    Juli
    Julibox
    Justin Timberlake
    Ladies
    Ladies Room
    Lays Sour Cream And Onion Mashed Potatoes
    Lays Sour Cream And Onion Potato Chips
    Leggings
    Lemon
    Lemon Chicken Soup
    Lemon Parsley Brisket
    Lemon-pork Rice-noodle Soup
    Lie
    Life
    Life Hack
    Lime
    Linkedin Stalk
    Liquor Luge
    Loss
    Love
    Manalytics
    Mashed Potatoes
    Mattism
    Mayan
    Mayans
    Measure
    Meme
    Michael Jackson
    Mid-soup Salad
    Mimic
    Mira Sorvino
    Missing
    Mixipe
    Mom
    Monday
    Moonwalk
    Mouse
    Movember
    Move To New York
    Movie Quote
    Movie Review
    Mullen
    Mustache
    Mustachioed
    Myspace
    Nessie
    Never Forget
    New Year
    New Years
    New York City
    New Yourk City
    Not Welcome
    No Worries
    Nutty
    Nyc
    Old
    One Off Blog
    One-off Blog
    Oral
    Paleo Diet
    Palmetto Bug
    Pawpaw
    Penis
    Petey
    Pg
    Pink Cheeks
    Pinkdustar
    Pinterest
    Poaching Chicken
    Pollyanna
    Ponder
    Poop
    Potato Cakes
    Potato Chips
    Power
    Power Rangers
    President
    Procrastinate
    Prophet
    Punk Feminist
    Quick Chop And Onion
    Quote
    Rachel
    Rachelazd
    Rachelexicon
    Rain
    Recipe
    Roasted Garlic
    Roommates
    Ryan
    Ryan Gosling
    Salad
    Saratoga
    Sasquatch
    Savory Stuffed Chops
    Sayings
    Scam
    Scary
    Secret
    Secret Service
    Sex
    Sexiest Man Alive
    Shit I'm Making TONIGHT
    Single Brothers
    Skypacommuting
    Small Spaces
    Social
    Social Media
    Someplace Fairly Uncomfortable
    Something To Hold Onto
    Sommelier
    South Carolina
    Southern
    Southern Collard Greens
    Space Planning
    Spaghetti Sauce
    Squashed Pot Bake
    'stache
    Stalk
    Statussing
    Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
    Texas
    The John
    Top 10 Lists
    Top 12 Of 12
    Twitter
    Two Men Need Wedding Dates
    Two Women Need Two Men Needing Wedding Dates
    Unadult
    Vajayjay
    Vice President
    Vote
    Voting
    W4m
    Wedding
    Win
    Wine
    Women
    Woodsy
    Words
    Worries
    Writing
    Yet
    Young
    Youtube
    Yum
    Zelda Rubinstein