BUT, i DO have more funness to share. let me tell you all about it ...
i called "will" at like 8:45 in the morning, and it sounded like I woke him up. it also sounded like he could have possibly been in the company of one infamous mary jane. (no judgement.) i asked for a 5:45 showing and he offered 6. but he was weird. i read him the title of the Craigslist posting and all he said was, "price?" like that's how he identifies his properties. he said it was still available, but that I had to meet him at his office.
so i decided to bring a friend. it just seemed too sketch. HE seemed too sketch.
we get there (119 w 23rd at 6th ave, suite 300) and it's this room full of people on computers, on phones, milling around. they sit us down with this guy steve and he gets my basic info like location, pricepoint and number of bedrooms. he acts all excited about the possibilities that he's pulling up on his computer but not showing us, then he hands us off to will.
i'm still trying to figure out if that's the guy's real name.
will takes us on a magic tour around the city looking at shithole after shithole. will is tall. like lurch tall. like uncomfortably tall. and he walks fast. and doesn't talk. i kept trying to bring him out of his shell, and he just wasn't having it. once he even dared a "donotcrosswalk" and lost us. he'd made it all the way to the next block before he figured out we weren't with him.
i asked him if he'd ever lost anyone before. he said, "everyday." WOW.
so, the first place he showed us was in a basement. with graffiti on the windows. it had terra-cotta outdoor tiles on the floor and access to a "garden space" that was really a dumping ground for broken furniture. um, no.
the next place was nice. first floor. pretty spacious. lived in by a SLOB. the bathroom was nice, but gross. i thought things were looking up. until I realized that there was no stove. no oven. no cooking apparatus at all.
that's when I asked Will how many were left on the list. there were four more. i asked him how many of them he'd seen. he pointed to the one we'd just been in and the one we were standing in. he said that most people don't come in with my budget. he said most people were looking to spend $1200 to $2000.
i asked him what the apartments he usually showed were like. he just laughed. creepy.
the next two places were identical. once we found them. will got a little turned around and we did some backtracking. the largest thing about them were the kitchens. the kitchens were SWANK. the bathrooms were nice. everything was new and fresh. but the livingrooms were hallways and the bedrooms were closets. literally.
there was plenty of room in the kitchens, but there were doors (to the outside, closets, the bathroom) everywhere, so you couldn't put furniture in them. crazy. i even laid down in the floor of the bedroom, and with my feet touching the wall, i couldn't extend my hands over my head all the way. and that was length-wise. double crazy.
oh, and one of them had a lovely view of a cemetery. with a fresh grave.
the next two places had already rented earlier in the day, and by that time I was cranky and hungry, so we parted with will. when we did, he shook my hand and wiggled his eyebrows suggestively at me. AWESOME.
so, that was an adventure. and i'm glad i took a friend.
oh, and the listing i blogged? never saw it. i don't think it exists.