so, i have no fun pic of a bottle of wine to start with. i don't have finished pics of one dish. there's even going to be a whole second installment of one-off food blog to chronicle all of the things i did with food over the weekend. (and if you have a gross mind, get it out of my gutter.)
we're going to start with where i started: jalapeño deviled eggs and cilantro-lime chicken salad, both from my pinterest board, "shit i'm making TONIGHT" and soon to be seen on "i did it."
which one will i make again? both. which one first? the eggs. because i'd do things differently a second time around.

but, to be fair, i have an ex who didn't know how to boil water. he filled the pot to the brim and put it on a burner set to high. most of us know how THAT turned out.
no, i'm going to teach you how to boil and egg without that strange green ring around your yoke. while i dislike the green ring because i think it makes for a dry yoke, it's also not aesthetically pleasing. and you see a lot of yoke in deviled eggs. so aesthetics are important.
why do we put the eggs in first and not the water? because people seem to acquire an irrational fear of water when dropping things into it and never let their fingertips get wet. so you tend to drop them in and crack your eggs when they hit the bottom of the pot.
why do we not bring the water to a boil before dropping in the eggs in? because the fear of water is rational at this point — as it's BOILING — and you're even more likely to crack your eggs.
put your pot on a burner at medium-high heat and bring to a boil. not a full-on rolling boil, but a baby boil. once you hit boil, put the lid on, turn off the burner and remove from heat. let it sit for 20 minutes. then run your eggs under cold water.
gently tap them all over on a flat surface and remove the shell. cut open. no green rings. perfect.

you'll need:
6 large boiled eggs, cooled and peeled
1 jalapeño, deseeded and minced
3 tbsp mayo (i'd actually do less, see my notes at the end)
2 tsp chopped cilantro
1 tsp dijon mustard
1 teaspoon citrus champagne vinegar
the juice of a quarter of a lime
pinch cayenne pepper
pinch paprika
salt and pepper to taste
a plastic baggie
you'll notice i already switched out the vinegar and added paprika. the paprika was an accident, i grabbed the wrong jar. and the vinegar was what i had on hand and it worked.
but the addition of the lime juice was very purposeful. i just feel like if you're going to have cilantro and jalapeño, you gotta have lime juice.
cut your eggs in half lengthwise and remove the yokes with a spoon. mash the yokes in a bowl. like really well.
add everything else to the bowl and mix.
i put it all in a plastic baggie and kneaded it a little. then i cut off the corner of the baggie and used it to pipe the whole mess into my little egg boats.
i call them boats because the "deviled" was too runny. it formed lakes into my little boats and sunk them. the whole plate was deviled. (which was fine, as i have no shame in licking palate. it's just not presentable. and deviled eggs are normally a presentation-type thing.)
what would i do differently? more yokes. less mayo. refrigerated the deviled baggie for an hour or two before piping into the boats.
and i AM going to try again, soon. they were totes good. i might even make me some paelo-mayo and try it like that.
what you're supposed to do is pipe it into the egg boats and refrigerate for an hour or more before serving. but i'm liking my refrigerate in baggie idea to let the deviled set a little.
so, now i have an assload of cilantro. and another jalapeño. and lime. i should make cilantro-lime chicken salad.

3 large boneless, skinless chicken breasts (if i were to do this again i'd do 2 large breasts and 2 thighs. i'll explain later)
chicken stock (recipe found here, subtract the lemon. or you can use what you have frozen or even store-bought.)
1 jalapeño, deseeded and minced
4 tbs chopped cilantro
the juice of one lime
one finely-diced red onion
1/3 cup mayo
1 tbs dijon mustard
1tsp cumin
salt and pepper to taste
| there are two things i'm going to teach you with this recipe. the first? how to quick-chop an onion 1) peel your onion 2) cut off the ass-ends of your onion and discard 3) cut your onion in half 4) with a sharp knife, slice horizontally into the onion 4-5 times, leaving 1/4 inch intact (as pictured left) 5) now slice vertically into the onion 6-7 times, leaving 1/4 inch intact (as pictured left) 6) now, slice down the onion 7-8 times, creating minced pieces (as pictured left) 7) discard of the remaining quarter inch (or chop with wild abandon and incorporate into the minced pieces.) |
in a medium-large pot, immerse the chicken in chicken stock.
bring it to a boil over medium-high heat. once it starts boiling, reduce the heat to a simmer and partially cover for 10 minutes.
remove from the heat and let the chicken hang out in the stock for about 15 minutes.
after that, the rest of the recipe is pretty simple.
what you'll do:
use two forks pulling in opposite directions to shred your chicken.
put it into a large bowl with the rest of the ingredients (well, minus the chicken stock, obvi. the chicken stock you re/freeze for later.). stir it all around.
let it cool in the fridge for several hours before serving.

when i made my sammy i put mayo on the bread, even though most normal people wouldn't on a salad sandwich. and the tomatoes helped.
but it wasn't really a "needs-more-mayo" kind of dry, it was an "i-used-all-white-meat" kind of dry. next time i'll use some thighs, as noted earlier.
i have my first request. black chimichurri steak. i'll look into that and maybe this weekend try it out. if not, for sure next week.
follow my board, and remember: ALWAYS drink responsibly when you cook, you could lose a finger.
*all shitty photos taken with my iphone