Category: Nutty

fmlh

2/27/2013

want to know what the 'h' stands for? hard. fuck my life, hard.

don't worry. there won't be any nsfw photos in this entry to illustrate that point. because i'm on a loaner computer that i can't save anything to. not even a screenshot. how exactly am i supposed to do work? i had to email a pdf from my work account to my personal account just to view it. i'm not even gonna TRY to print anything.

so, that's one of the reasons the fmlh — computer woes. apparently, my hard drive is wonky. and i could have him back maybe today. maybe tomorrow. maybe have to order me a new one.

and this loaner? it's trackpad doesn't even work. so if i ever take it somewhere, i have to drag along an external mouse. but why would i take it anywhere when the only thing i can do on it is email? basically, i can do more with my phone than this computer.

why else fmlh? i'm sick. i'm coming down with a cold. and i've been fighting it tooth and nail since day one. (i'm not sure why a cold would be afraid of teeth and claws, but it's an expression none-the-less.) and it seems that the harder i fight it, the longer i stay in this "almost-sick" place. maybe i should just let it happen.

but the weather's not helping. it's cold. and rainy. and i forgot my umbrella. and no cabs are ever available in the rain. (well, until you're a block away from home and a cabby actually pulls over and asks if you need a ride even though your arm isn't out.)

and we're busy. "work towards this meeting that we'll cancel," and all that.

i dunno, there's a lot to complain about. it's february and i feel like that's a blue month. like an indigo, dark blue. not like a spring day blue. i can't wait for a spring day blue kind of month.

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if someone could please tell me why craigslist be hatin'

2/23/2013

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so. remember the saga of the two guys looking for wedding dates on craigslist? well, my friends andrea and alexa posted a response to craigslist: two women need two men needing wedding dates - w4m - 236 (nyc - saratoga). i thought that was pretty cute. but if you clicked on the link you'll see that craigslist removed it.

if they can figure out why, they'll repost. any ideas? is it the pot leaves? the mentions of being craigslist killers? or the cussing? take a look:

click on the ones below if you actually want to read it. it's a pretty funny read. especially if you've read the guy's.

these are the photos:

seriously, let them know what you think it is: 2girlsonedate@gmail.com

you never know, your suggestion could get them some chicken cordon bleu and watered-down open bar drinks!

:{ schnoogins.

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by the power of grayskull

11/5/2012

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i think i might have overused the #fuckyousandy hashtag. but it was warranted, i think.

because in one week, i went from this:

:to living less than a block from this ...

... to day after day of this:

and finally? this:

i promise i'm going to tell you all about it. but right now i'm trying to find a grocery store that has everything i need to finally make that black steak chimichurri that's been requested on "shit i'm making TONIGHT." i already pinned the recipes. and i already know how i'm going to alter them. i just have to find the ingredients. fresh direct can get them to me by wednesday and d'agastino's shelves are pretty bare. ballalalalalas.

thanks to all of you who emailed, facebooked, called, texted and checked in. also, special thanks to jwt for letting me charge up there.

:{D happy movember, btw. i TOLD you you'd thank me for the mustachioed man!

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shit i'm making TONIGHT episode 2

10/6/2012

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for episode 2 of "shit i'm making TONIGHT," i really changed up the recipes i tried. like a lot. i'm almost reluctant to tell you where i started. but for the sake of the structure of these one-off blogs, i will: pork chops and squash. sounds simplistic, right? not once i was done with it, but oh-so-good.

let's start with the wine, as i always do. what you need to note here is that i'm not a sommelier, and i'm not trying to be. i'm not truly pairing wines with meals. i'm having a glass or two of a bottle i think i'll like while i cook.

this time it's a cab sauv out of oregon. eh, it's ok. their sauv blanc is way better. and much more reasonably priced. and usually, i would have chosen a heartier, chardonnay-type, white to go with pork. but with the pungent flavor of blue cheese (which i didn't even use), i thought a red would work.

then i changed up the recipe a ton and the wine was anyone's guess. i should prolly just get to the recipes.

i'll call them 'savory stuffed chops' and 'squashed pot bake.' (it will all make sense later.)

i'm going to take you through the two recipes together, because you have to use the oven for both so it effects temperature and cook time. but you can separate them. remind me, and i'll tell you how at the end. (funny, it's that sentence that will remind me. you don't actually have to do anything.)

savory stuffed chops and squashed pot bake

you'll need:
(for the chops)
two large boneless pork loin chops
4 oz fontina val d'aosta
3 slices prosciutto
2 tbsp chopped fresh chives
salt and pepper to taste
toothpicks

(for the squashed pot)
1 medium butternut squash
1 large sweet potato
1 bulb roasted garlic (mashed into a paste)
drizzle of olive oil
aluminum foil
1 tsp ground nutmeg
1 stick butter (browned)
salt and pepper to taste

first things first, we roast the garlic.

preheat your oven to 400 degrees.

peel the outer layers of your bulb, without dislodging individual cloves.

cut off the top quarter to half inch of the bulb, exposing the cloves. you might need to address the lower clove layers individually.

drizzle with olive oil, and rub it in with your fingers.

wrap the whole thing in foil and put it in one cup of a muffin tin.

bake 30-35 minutes.

use a butter knife to scrape out each bulb and mash with the flat of the knife on a flat surface.

transfer the paste to a small bowl and mix with the nutmeg.

why did i roast a whole bulb into paste when the recipe called for just 3 lightly-roasted minced cloves? i wanted to bring out the nutty flavor of roasted garlic. and adding the nutmeg helped soothe the pungent-nature of the garlic.

stir, stir, stir. you don't want the butter to boil. but it WILL foam up.

once the foam subsides, you can actually watch brown specs form at the bottom of the pan. you want cinnamon-colored, autumny specks and a nutty aroma. you don't want dark brown or black specks.

once you have the specks and aroma you want, remove from heat and pour into the bowl with the squash and potato.

add the nutmegged-garlic paste, sprinkle with salt and pepper and toss by hand, coating the squares evenly.

while that bakes, peel and deseed your squash as well as peel your sweet potato. cut them into 1 inch by one inch squares and set aside in a bowl.

now we're going to brown some butter.

heat a pan over medium heat. separate an entire stick of butter into half-tablespoon-sized pats and throw into the pot.

once melted, you need to really watch the butter. it can very easily burn. and you'll lose the nutty flavor you're looking for and get a nasty-tasting mess.

spread evenly on a large cookie sheet and bake at 400 degrees for 20 minutes. reduce the heat to 325, put the chops in the oven and remove both after 20-30 minutes, depending on the thickness of your chops. but, i'm getting ahead of myself.

during the first 20 minutes of the squash pot baking, prepare your chops.

grease a small pan.

chop your cheese into tiny cubes, about 1/8 inch by 1/8 inch. chop your prosciutto the same way. mix them together in a bowl with your chopped fresh chives.

divide into halves and roll into 2 loose balls.

with a sharp knife cut a "pocket" into your chops, much the same way you'd butterfly them, only leaving three sides intact.

push one ball into each pocket and flatten your chops. close the pocket with toothpicks.

place them in your greased pan and salt and pepper the top.

bake for 20-30 minutes at 325 degrees with your squash pot bake.

the flavors of the fontina are woodsy, nutty and mushroomy. the prosciutto is salty. the chives are savory. making the sweet pork more flavorful.

the squash pot only serves to accentuate that nutty woodsiness. try amuche-bouching them together for the one perfect bite.

plus, the sweet potato will be softer than the squash. it's a nice contrast in one dish.

if you're going to make them separately, cook the chops in a preheated oven at 325 degrees for about 20 minutes and the squash pot at 375 degrees for 30 to 45 minutes.

don't forget to follow my pinterest board, and stay tuned for the next episode of shit i'm making TONIGHT.

*once again, all shitty photos taken with my iphone.

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fmlh

if someone could please tell me why craigslist be hatin'

by the power of grayskull

shit i'm making TONIGHT episode 2

Rachel

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