blogged from my iphone.
rascal pinot noir out of oregon.
blogged from my iphone.
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this movember? the 'stache emoticons.
:{ = mustachioed man :{| = mustachioed man who is unamused by your quips :{) = happy mustachioed man :{D = jolly mustachioed man :{0 = surprised mustachioed man (or, mustachioed man performing fellatio) :{\ = mildly disgruntled mustachioed man :{ > = mustachioed man with a goatee :{x = mustachioed kiss ;{ = mustachioed wink 8{ = mustachioed man with glasses :{( = sad mustachioed man :`{ = crying into your mustache :{P = raspberry mustache (/:=( = hitler 'stache you'll thank me in a few months. matt has promised that if i ever say "tweetiquette" again he's going to duct tape petey's tail to his leg. but i didn't say it. i blogged it. so there.
anyway, i said it today all spur-of-the-moment-like. and i kind of like it. because, let's be honest: i've been on twitter for years but have never been a tweeter. so i don't really know the tweetiquitte of every situation. when do you retweet? when do you respond? can you respond to the wall street journal? to ashton kutcher? i mean, i know you wouldn't get anything back from it — but what's the tweetiquette? maybe there's a book on it somewhere ... oh, hey! follow me on twitter! if it's good tweetiquette, i'll follow you back. balls. one more thing. whenever i go to "find friends" on twitter it only offers email accounts as ways to search. why can't it search facebook? i don't email people. i just quietly stalk them through social media. what's the tweetiquette on stalking? because this is a life lesson i share often. but i thought it was the right time for ME to hear it again.
i googled "move to nyc" the other day. i kinda thought some smart person would have a blog about it, or there would be articles, or even a website. nothing really came up. well, not NOTHING. there was a blog i found where a blogger posted: "my friend asked me why i didn't warn her before she moved to nyc that she'd have way more boogers. it makes sense, between the crap in the air and the dryness of the heating systems. but it has me wondering, what else should i have told her before her big move?" and LOTS of people responded. most of the posts were about bad things like homeless men on the subway, bedbugs in apartments and dirty flipflop feet from rainy streets. then people started dissing the dissers and it turned into an "i <3 ny" vs "i</3 ny" debate. what would i have liked someone to remind me of before i moved here? (and note, i haven't REALLY moved here yet. i'm still in corporate housing.) that every city, no matter the size, is only as big as you make it. you could move to giddings, tx and live a BIG life — exploring the small town, getting to know it's people and day tripping into austin, or houston, and see the alamo and the rio grande. you could move to st. louis, mo and walk 5 minutes to work or drive an hour to the exact same place. you can move to nyc and carve out your own space. you can live in a 10 block bubble. go to the same places, see the same sights. you can. it's all up to you. i wish someone had reminded me of that. i think for right now, my nyc is small. it's suiting me well. making the city a bit less scary. but, sometime soon, i'll venture out. the city will get bigger and bigger. until it's not scary at all. maybe i'll start calling it "new yourk city." because it's what YOU make of it. THAT's what people should know before they move to the city. "It was a Thursday morning, you were wearing that ratty little "Dartmouth" T-shirt you look so good in, the one with the hole in the back of the neck. You'd just washed your hair and you smelled like some kind of... flower. I was running late for surgery. You said you were going to see me later, and you leaned to me, you put your hand on my chest and you kissed me. Soft. It was quick. Kind of like a habit. You know, like we'd do it everyday for the rest of our lives. And you went back to reading the newspaper and I went to work. That was the last time we kissed. "
of course, i'm day drinking with the cats and watching grey's anatomy. but it SEEMS like good writing ... i made up a word. and now you can say it: "manalytics."
i think it means "analytics about men," or "the study of boys." it's pie charts and such, fuckus group results and all of the lovely dissection tools used by marketing professionals specializing in dick-vertising. i think it works. werd. why didn't i ask you people earlier? i could have avoided a sleepless night ... which apartment should i put an application in on? A) two bedroom at 17th st and 9th ave
B) one bedroom at 13th st and 8th ave
so? what do you think?
i HAVE to tell you more about my adventures in apartment hunting. first of all, i saw two very promising places yesterday and have more lined up with the same people today. you don't have to worry about me at all, monday was a fluke.
BUT, i DO have more funness to share. let me tell you all about it ... i called "will" at like 8:45 in the morning, and it sounded like I woke him up. it also sounded like he could have possibly been in the company of one infamous mary jane. (no judgement.) i asked for a 5:45 showing and he offered 6. but he was weird. i read him the title of the Craigslist posting and all he said was, "price?" like that's how he identifies his properties. he said it was still available, but that I had to meet him at his office. so i decided to bring a friend. it just seemed too sketch. HE seemed too sketch. we get there (119 w 23rd at 6th ave, suite 300) and it's this room full of people on computers, on phones, milling around. they sit us down with this guy steve and he gets my basic info like location, pricepoint and number of bedrooms. he acts all excited about the possibilities that he's pulling up on his computer but not showing us, then he hands us off to will. i'm still trying to figure out if that's the guy's real name. will takes us on a magic tour around the city looking at shithole after shithole. will is tall. like lurch tall. like uncomfortably tall. and he walks fast. and doesn't talk. i kept trying to bring him out of his shell, and he just wasn't having it. once he even dared a "donotcrosswalk" and lost us. he'd made it all the way to the next block before he figured out we weren't with him. i asked him if he'd ever lost anyone before. he said, "everyday." WOW. so, the first place he showed us was in a basement. with graffiti on the windows. it had terra-cotta outdoor tiles on the floor and access to a "garden space" that was really a dumping ground for broken furniture. um, no. the next place was nice. first floor. pretty spacious. lived in by a SLOB. the bathroom was nice, but gross. i thought things were looking up. until I realized that there was no stove. no oven. no cooking apparatus at all. that's when I asked Will how many were left on the list. there were four more. i asked him how many of them he'd seen. he pointed to the one we'd just been in and the one we were standing in. he said that most people don't come in with my budget. he said most people were looking to spend $1200 to $2000. i asked him what the apartments he usually showed were like. he just laughed. creepy. the next two places were identical. once we found them. will got a little turned around and we did some backtracking. the largest thing about them were the kitchens. the kitchens were SWANK. the bathrooms were nice. everything was new and fresh. but the livingrooms were hallways and the bedrooms were closets. literally. there was plenty of room in the kitchens, but there were doors (to the outside, closets, the bathroom) everywhere, so you couldn't put furniture in them. crazy. i even laid down in the floor of the bedroom, and with my feet touching the wall, i couldn't extend my hands over my head all the way. and that was length-wise. double crazy. oh, and one of them had a lovely view of a cemetery. with a fresh grave. the next two places had already rented earlier in the day, and by that time I was cranky and hungry, so we parted with will. when we did, he shook my hand and wiggled his eyebrows suggestively at me. AWESOME. so, that was an adventure. and i'm glad i took a friend. oh, and the listing i blogged? never saw it. i don't think it exists. $2200/1br-~*@LOOK HERE@*GIGANTIC*1BR*24 HRdm/ELE/LAN LUX BLDG*SUBWAY*ASAP OR 9/1 (Chelsea)8/22/2012 ~*@LOOK HERE@*GIGANTIC*1BR*24HRdm/ELE/LAN LUX BLDG*SUBWAY*ASAP OR 9/1 ~*THE HEART OF CHELSEA*~ AVAILABLE FOR IMMEDIATE OR 9/1 MOVE-IN GLEAMING HARDWOOD FLOORS,IMPOSSIBLY HIGH CEILINGS,BRAND NEW STAINLESS STEEL APPLIANCES, 1 BLOCK FROM MULTIPLE SUBWAYS, THE PERFECT LOCATION!!! SCHEDULE A PRIVATE VIEWING NOW CALL / TEXT WILL: 212-470-4816or EMAIL: WillK1groupNYC@gmail.com LIVING ROOM BEDROOM DOORWAY/FOYER THESE PICS ARE 100% ACCURATE AS I TOOK THEM MYSELF!! COME SEE FOR YOURSELF!! SCHEDULE A PRIVATE VIEWING NOW CALL / TEXT WILL: 212-470-4816or EMAIL: WillK1groupNYC@gmail.com Battery Park City · Bowery · Carnegie Hill · Chelsea · Columbus Circle · East Harlem · East Village · Financial District ·Garment District · Gramercy Park · Greenwich Village · Harlem · Hell's Kitchen · Herald Square · Inwood · Lenox Hill · Lincoln Square · Little Italy ·Lower East Side · Lower Manhattan · Marble Hill · Meatpacking District · Midtown Manhattan · Morningside Heights · Murray Hill · NoHo · Nolita ·Roosevelt Island · SoHo · South Street Seaport · South Village · Sugar Hill · Sutton Place · Times Square · TriBeCa · Union Square · Upper East Side ·Upper West Side · Washington Heights*Uptown*Downtown*Midtown*brooklyn*queens* west village
here i am, in nyc. corporate housing is SWANK, btw. true one bedroom, amazing view, real kitchen, sizable bathroom, TWO closets, elevator, gym, laundry, doorman, AND MAID SERVICE every other monday. i have no idea how much this place costs. most likely the right arm of a right-armed man. plus the leg he has left to stand on.
oddly enough, though, the tv only gets one channel. and it's in spanish. a spanish-speaking sports-coverage channel. thank goodness for netflix. but the cats are loving it. petey has recovered from his adventure in carrier-pooping and mad-cattery at the airport and is currently laying on my typing arm. cece is demanding belly rubs and head-butting me awake for ear scratches. so, TODAY i went to see my very first west village apartment. which is why i've been up all night, freaked the freak out. let's be honest: i've never lived anywhere without central air. a dishwasher. a washer/dryer. screens on the windows. closet space. a full-sized refrigerator. you know, stuff. i've also never paid close to $3000 for anything. especially not once a month. i'm already trying to weigh my fear of the subway against my fear of hovels. upper west side? not looking as far away as it once did ... |
Racheli'm an advertising copywriter who had this idea one day to blog. one-off blog, one day this and one day that. because i'm an expert at pretty much nothing, i figured i'd write about everything. Archives
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