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lemon-pork rice-noodle soup for the cold

4/15/2012

lemon-pork rice-noodle soup for the cold

i don't follow recipes. i don't write recipes down. i cook.

and today, i have a cold and no desire to leave the apartment. so, i had to cook what i had on hand. and it is bangin'.

first, a cooked two pork tenderloins in water for four hours with two lemons with holes poked in them, most of a bulb of garlic, a half a red onion, fresh bay leaves, champagne vinegar, celery salt, ground mustard, ground red pepper and salt and pepper.

oh, and fatback stock. yes. i have home-made fatback stock on hand. don't judge.

then i strained it all out, shredded the pork and put it back in the broth. i brought it all back to a boil and added some rice noodles. boiled it all together for four minutes.

best cold remedy ever. just sayin'.

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no worries (well, not normal ones)

4/15/2012

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while you're gone, i don't worry:
-that we'll fall out of love with each other
-that one of us will cheat
-that we'll forget each other
-that we'll become different people
-that we'll run out of things to talk about
-that we'll create new routines

while you're gone, i worry. that i'll forget how to miss you.

i miss you.

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i send emails

4/13/2012

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i send you emails when i miss you.

you know who you are.

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book review for a book i read but never used

4/12/2012

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and a whopping 8 out of 9 people found it helpful. i feel like i did something.

side note: a friend of mine saw it and knew i had to have been the person to write it. what tipped her off? prolly the screen name ...

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prophesying

4/12/2012

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so. i was in a ladies room. at a gas station. in gaffney, sc. (and guys, if you don't know — a ladies room only has stalls. no urinals. so it's all privacy, all the time.)

i hear a voice in the next stall, "if there was more pee on this seat, none would be in the toilet." i giggled. it was funny. then i hear, "is someone laughing at me? i keep my bathroom and my kitchen clean. because i can't eat in a place that's dirty and i can't get clean in a place that's dirty." i agreed.

then the voice said, "you know the end is coming, right?" excuse me? "the end of the world. i am the prophet pinkdustar."

seriously. this happened. it gets better.

"i have the four horses of the apocalypse in my back yard. i called animal control ..." she called animal control on biblical creatures. "... and they said they didn't know who's horses they were. so i figured they came from god and god wanted me to keep them for the four horsemen the come." side bar: what do you feed the four beasts of burden who carry the apocalypse on their shoulders, i wonder?

on that note, i flushed. i burst from my stall and ran to the sink. i had to wash and get out of there before she was done. i had no interest in finding out what the prophet pinkdustar looked like.

but i found out: short. like uncomfortably short. not quite midget, but more like zelda rubinstein. ageless, she had a pruney, leathery face surrounded by spiraling blond hair pulled into an '80s-style side pony. her tiny little eyes lit up every time she smiled. she was wearing a hot pink t-shirt with rolled-up jorts and white orthopedic sandals. her nails (both fingers and toes) were painted to match her t-shirt.

she basically looked normal. well, not normal. but i wouldn't have done a double-take or stared had she not opened her mouth and proclaimed the end of mankind form the next stall over.

at the sink she started speaking to me in rhyme. because the bible is written in rhyme. because. the. bible. is. written. in rhyme. she said that. here's an example: "the statue of liberty stands at sea. for all to see. oh woe to me. let it be."

"let it be," she said. she said it after every time she quoted god. and god speaks to her a lot. about the dinosaurs — who were killed by stardust, by the way. (i wonder if it was pink?) about michael jackson — who is both a pedophile and the devil. did you get that? if you die and go to hell, michael jackson is the devil.

she left me with this thought: "if you believe in jesus, i'll see you in heaven soon." i guess if not, i'll be wondering who billy jean's lover really was and whether or not it's black or white for all eternity.

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introducing the "mattism"

4/9/2012

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so, this might take a lot of backstory. but first, what is a mattism? it's shit my boyfriend says that in some way is a stroke of genius. well, you might not think they all are. but i get to make up the definition — as i made up the phrase.

the first mattism i'll share with you has to do with channing tatum. yes, this guy:

we went and saw '21 jump street' this past week. (and it was actually really great, both of us laughed so hard we couldn't breath. if you haven't seen it, you should.)

as we left the theater, i commented that tatum's (why he has two ambiguous names that could each be both first or last, i don't know.) agent is pretty smart for following up 'the vow' with a movie like 'jump street.'

and that his agent was always pretty good about it: 'she's the man,' 'dear john,' and 'step up' were all pretty well balanced with 'g.i. joe,' 'fighting' and 'stop loss.' and , yes, i credited these decisions to his agent, because — as i put it at the time — tatum "looks like he was hit in the back of the head with a shovel at a young age."

the. guy. looks. dumb.

you can't deny it. he looks like he's not the brightest bulb in the knife drawer. is it that he's too pretty? some would say. is it because i'm mean that i say it? many would agree.

but, i honestly think it's the vacancy in his eyes and the confused-highschool-bully gait he carries himself with. i'm sure he's a great guy. no doubt. but he looks as smart as a bag of bricks in a toilet-paper-softness test.

finally, enter the mattism: the channing scale. as in, "oh, say, what's that guy over there on the channing scale of one to ten?" not "is that guy dumb or what?!?" more like, "i wonder, is your preconceived notion that the young gentleman to your 2 o'clock would be bright or dull?"

he'd like me to point out at the is time that he actually likes tatum. i say it's because of the aforementioned admirable job his agent is doing at appealing to multiple audiences and not allowing him to be typecast as the dumb guy ...

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day one

4/8/2012

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what is a one-off blog do you ponder?

well, i'll tell you. one day it'll be a cooking blog and the next it will be a photo blog and the next it might be just rantings and ravings. always a surprise, never the same. i figured that's the way my brain works, so i'm just gonna go with it.

i'd tell you a little about me, but i have a feeling that if you're here you know me. or, you can explore around and figure it out for yourself. i bet you're pretty smart.

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lemon-pork rice-noodle soup for the cold

no worries (well, not normal ones)

i send emails

book review for a book i read but never used

prophesying

introducing the "mattism"

day one

Rachel

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