so. remember the saga of the two guys looking for wedding dates on craigslist? well, my friends andrea and alexa posted a response to craigslist: two women need two men needing wedding dates - w4m - 236 (nyc - saratoga). i thought that was pretty cute. but if you clicked on the link you'll see that craigslist removed it.

if they can figure out why, they'll repost. any ideas? is it the pot leaves? the mentions of being craigslist killers? or the cussing? take a look:

these are the photos:

seriously, let them know what you think it is: 2girlsonedate@gmail.com

you never know, your suggestion could get them some chicken cordon bleu and watered-down open bar drinks!

:{ schnoogins.

i think i might have overused the #fuckyousandy hashtag. but it was warranted, i think.

because in one week, i went from this:

:to living less than a block from this ...

 ... to day after day of this:

and finally? this:

i promise i'm going to tell you all about it. but right now i'm trying to find a grocery store that has everything i need to finally make that black steak chimichurri that's been requested on "shit i'm making TONIGHT." i already pinned the recipes. and i already know how i'm going to alter them. i just have to find the ingredients. fresh direct can get them to me by wednesday and d'agastino's shelves are pretty bare. ballalalalalas.

thanks to all of you who emailed, facebooked, called, texted and checked in. also, special thanks to jwt for letting me charge up there.

:{D happy movember, btw. i TOLD you you'd thank me for the mustachioed man!

wow, it's been a while. basically, because the one and only thing that's been on my mind is not my thing to share. so i can't. and i'm worried i'll let it slip the more i type. 

but, you can keep a secret, right? so can i, bitches.

i remember before i started typing my thoughts onto this blog i said, "i don't blog because i'm afraid people will read it. i don't tweet because i'm afraid people won't." first it was a facebook status, then it was this:

why did i worry people would read my blog? because i was afraid i'd censor myself. i'm crazy weird on the inside and think totally inappropriate things that sometimes just fall out of my mouth. and maybe you'd think i'm weird. or maybe you wouldn't like what i had to say. or maybe i'm not the person you think i am.

so with that in mind, why was i afraid no one would read me on twitter? because weird feels more appropriate 140 characters at a time? no. because it's a social sharing engine. you want people to read you. you expect them to read you. so you tone the weird down.

and then somehow people started reading the blog. and it seemed no one was reading my tweets. so i was right. 

and twitter became my safe place where i could say "penis" for no reason or share my political beliefs without the Facebook nazi's belittling them or even just put a "secret" out there into the ether if i needed to get it off my chest.  until this happened:

and that wasn't all. but it was the beginning. a tweet about my safespace, twitter, was favorited. retweeted. responded to. people sent me personal emails. they'd heard me.

and now, shit, you're reading it too. so now that my entire brain is consumed by this thing i can't tell, i feel like i can't say anything else. because you're listening. and i might slip up.

then i read about this guy: 

since 2007, some guy has tweeted and facebooked as that guy, "dave on wheels," a 24-year-old deaf quadriplegic with cerebral palsy. but he's not that guy. that guy's name isn't even dave. it's hunter.

i mean, what that guy did was wrong. he says he was trying to be a motivational inspiration. and to many he was. but he's also been accused of pretending to be that guy to get close online with pretty girls. and he was close online with a lot of pretty girls. (seems like a kinda fair accusation)

but that doesn't mean that i can't just take his lead and go be someone else, right? why couldn't i just go off and blog/tweet/book as " beyond bridgette" or "susie smiles" and spill my secret?

but, dammit. it's still not my secret to tell. 

so you'll have to wait for new apartment photos, to know which kitchen island i chose, or for the "black steak chimichurri" "shit i'm making TONIGHT" pinterest post. because i'm currently consumed by this secret that isn't even mine. 

we're going a little loosey-goosey with this episode. because i did some weekend cooking, some weekend experimenting, and some weekend day-drinking. and it's wednesday. 

so, i have no fun pic of a bottle of wine to start with. i don't have finished pics of one dish. there's even going to be a whole second installment of one-off food blog to chronicle all of the things i did with food over the weekend. (and if you have a gross mind, get it out of my gutter.)

we're going to start with where i started: jalapeño deviled eggs and cilantro-lime chicken salad, both from my pinterest board, "shit i'm making TONIGHT" and soon to be seen on "i did it."

which one will i make again? both. which one first? the eggs. because i'd do things differently a second time around.

first thing i'm gonna do is teach you how to boil an egg. yes, i know you THINK you know how to boil an egg. 

but, to be fair, i have an ex who didn't know how to boil water. he filled the pot to the brim and put it on a burner set to high. most of us know how THAT turned out. 

no, i'm going to teach you how to boil and egg without that strange green ring around your yoke. while i dislike the green ring because i think it makes for a dry yoke, it's also not aesthetically pleasing. and you see a lot of yoke in deviled eggs. so aesthetics are important.

get yourself a medium-sized pot with a lid. gently put 6 (or however many, it's 6 for this recipe) eggs into your pot and cover with water about an inch higher than the eggs.

why do we put the eggs in first and not the water? because people seem to acquire an irrational fear of water when dropping things into it and never let their fingertips get wet. so you tend to drop them in and crack your eggs when they hit the bottom of the pot.

why do we not bring the water to a boil before dropping in the eggs in? because the fear of water is rational at this point — as it's BOILING — and you're even more likely to crack your eggs.

put your pot on a burner at medium-high heat and bring to a boil. not a full-on rolling boil, but a baby boil. once you hit boil, put the lid on, turn off the burner and remove from heat. let it sit for 20 minutes. then run your eggs under cold water.

gently tap them all over on a flat surface and remove the shell. cut open. no green rings. perfect.

jalapeño deviled eggs

you'll need:
6 large boiled eggs, cooled and peeled
1 jalapeño, deseeded and minced
3 tbsp mayo (i'd actually do less, see my notes at the end)
2 tsp chopped cilantro
1 tsp dijon mustard
1 teaspoon citrus champagne vinegar
the juice of a quarter of a lime
pinch cayenne pepper
pinch paprika
salt and pepper to taste
a plastic baggie

you'll notice i already switched out the vinegar and added paprika. the paprika was an accident, i grabbed the wrong jar. and the vinegar was what i had on hand and it worked.

but the addition of the lime juice was very purposeful. i just feel like if you're going to have cilantro and jalapeño, you gotta have lime juice. 

what you'll do:
cut your eggs in half lengthwise and remove the yokes with a spoon. mash the yokes in a bowl. like really well. 

add everything else to the bowl and mix. 

i put it all in a plastic baggie and kneaded it a little. then i cut off the corner of the baggie and used it to pipe the whole mess into my little egg boats.

i call them boats because the "deviled" was too runny. it formed lakes into my little boats and sunk them. the whole plate was deviled. (which was fine, as i have no shame in licking  palate. it's just not presentable. and deviled eggs are normally a presentation-type thing.)

what would i do differently? more yokes. less mayo. refrigerated the deviled baggie for an hour or two before piping into the boats.

and i AM going to try again, soon. they were totes good. i might even make me some paelo-mayo and try it like that.

what you're supposed to do is pipe it into the egg boats and refrigerate for an hour or more before serving. but i'm liking my refrigerate in baggie idea to let the deviled set a little. 

so, now i have an assload of cilantro. and another jalapeño. and lime. i should make cilantro-lime chicken salad.

you'll need:
3 large boneless, skinless chicken breasts (if i were to do this again i'd do 2 large breasts and 2 thighs. i'll explain later)
chicken stock (recipe found here, subtract the lemon. or you can use what you have frozen or even store-bought.)
1 jalapeño, deseeded and minced
4 tbs chopped cilantro
the juice of one lime
one finely-diced red onion
1/3 cup mayo
1 tbs dijon mustard
1tsp cumin
salt and pepper to taste

how to poach chicken
in a medium-large pot, immerse the chicken in chicken stock.

bring it to a boil over medium-high heat. once it starts boiling, reduce the heat to a simmer and partially cover for 10 minutes. 

remove from the heat and let the chicken hang out in the stock for about 15 minutes.

after that, the rest of the recipe is pretty simple.

what you'll do:
use two forks pulling in opposite directions to shred your chicken.

put it into a large bowl with the rest of the ingredients (well, minus the chicken stock, obvi. the chicken stock you re/freeze for later.). stir it all around.

let it cool in the fridge for several hours before serving.

now, while this recipe was so good it actually inspired me to make a sammy (and we all know my crazy aversion to all things bread.), it IS a little dry.

when i made my sammy i put mayo on the bread, even though most normal people wouldn't on a salad sandwich. and the tomatoes helped.

but it wasn't really a "needs-more-mayo" kind of dry, it was an "i-used-all-white-meat" kind of dry. next time i'll use some thighs, as noted earlier.

i have my first request. black chimichurri steak. i'll look into that and maybe this weekend try it out. if not, for sure next week.

follow my board, and remember: ALWAYS drink responsibly when you cook, you could lose a finger.

*all shitty photos taken with my iphone

this is where rachelwriteson "started." as an idea:

and i actually started using an acne face wash. i took one photo, the "before." then i never really followed through. that should have signaled doom for my one-off blog idea. i have no follow through. but here i am writing a one-off blog entry, and here you are reading a one-off blog entry.

you'll never see the "i ordered an acne wash that takes 3 weeks and here's my 'before' photo" photo-a-day blog. mainly because i have no idea what i did with that photo, but also because the entry would just be a pic of me with acne. 

you've seen plenty of "my boyfriend is a caveman and i cooked paleo once" food blogs. and i owe you some "shit i'm making TONIGHT" entries, because i've been cooking up a storm. but, i thought i'd address the "i had crazy sex adventures that one time" sex blog.

hence the mom-shutting-her-eyes part. except that, really, i'm gonna be pretty pg about this. 

so this one night, i was out with friends. one was a fellow copywriter. a DUDE writer. and we got to talking about "50 shades of gray," which neither of us has actually read, and decided we could do better. you know, a danielle-steele-esque sexcapade novel that both girls AND guys would want to read.

then we drank more and it turned into something else all together. see, both of us are in successful adult relationships. but there are still times when i'm like, "what in the hell does THAT mean?" or he's like, "what's the right answer in 'does this make me look fat?' situations?". 

so, we decided to write something else entirely. kind of a handbook for the opposite sex. or, at least that's how i remember it. there was wine. and a lot of it. 

the next day, he sent me some topics: foreplay, hooking up on first date, meeting the fam, what you look for in the opposite sex, signals, marriage, and cheating. i sent back more topics: porn, the morning after, pregnancy scare, sharing 'numbers', "we were on a break," one night stand, "i kissed a girl," work wives, the second kiss is actually the important kiss, the proper answer to "does this make me look fat?" is always sex, girls share everything with their friends (including that picture of your penis you sent to her phone), who has to sleep in the wet spot, and to snuggle or not to snuggle. (don't worry mom, i'm not an expert on all those topics. but i know enough people who are to do the research.)

and that's where it ended. except that i soft-lobbed the idea to a couple friends — a "would you read this?" sort of thing. and they got excited at the idea. i never told the dude. so, question for you: would you read it? 

what if it were one of those books that on one side is for "her" called "Walking on Mars" written by a dude and on the other is for "him" called "Vacationing on Venus" written by a girl like me? and they cover off on the same topics chapter-by-chapter. 

all under pseudonyms, of course. for honesty and privacy's sake. and now that the idea is out there on the interwebbings, really, it could be ANYONE writing it. even the mustachioed man :{0 

for episode 2 of "shit i'm making TONIGHT," i really changed up the recipes i tried. like a lot. i'm almost reluctant to tell you where i started. but for the sake of the structure of these one-off blogs, i will: pork chops and squash. sounds simplistic, right? not once i was done with it, but oh-so-good.

let's start with the wine, as i always do. what you need to note here is that i'm not a sommelier, and i'm not trying to be. i'm not truly pairing wines with meals. i'm having a glass or two of a bottle i think i'll like while i cook.

this time it's a cab sauv out of oregon. eh, it's ok. their sauv blanc is way better. and much more reasonably priced. and usually, i would have chosen a heartier, chardonnay-type, white to go with pork. but with the pungent flavor of blue cheese (which i didn't even use), i thought a red would work.

then i changed up the recipe a ton and the wine was anyone's guess. i should prolly just get to the recipes.

i'll call them 'savory stuffed chops' and 'squashed pot bake.' (it will all make sense later.)

i'm going to take you through the two recipes together, because you have to use the oven for both so it effects temperature and cook time. but you can separate them. remind me, and i'll tell you how at the end. (funny, it's that sentence that will remind me. you don't actually have to do anything.)

savory stuffed chops and squashed pot bake

you'll need:
(for the chops)
two large boneless pork loin chops
4 oz fontina val d'aosta
3 slices prosciutto 
2 tbsp chopped fresh chives
salt and pepper to taste
toothpicks

(for the squashed pot)
1 medium butternut squash
1 large sweet potato
1 bulb roasted garlic (mashed into a paste)
drizzle of olive oil
aluminum foil
1 tsp ground nutmeg
1 stick butter (browned)
salt and pepper to taste

first things first, we roast the garlic.

why did i roast a whole bulb into paste when the recipe called for just 3 lightly-roasted minced cloves? i wanted to bring out the nutty flavor of roasted garlic. and adding the nutmeg helped soothe the pungent-nature of the garlic.

spread evenly on a large cookie sheet and bake at 400 degrees for 20 minutes. reduce the heat to 325, put the chops in the oven and remove both after 20-30 minutes, depending on the thickness of your chops. but, i'm getting ahead of myself.

during the first 20 minutes of the squash pot baking, prepare your chops. 

grease a small pan.

chop your cheese into tiny cubes, about 1/8 inch by 1/8 inch. chop your prosciutto the same way. mix them together in a bowl with your chopped fresh chives.

divide into halves and roll into 2 loose balls.

with a sharp knife cut a "pocket" into your chops, much the same way you'd butterfly them, only leaving three sides intact.

push one ball into each pocket and flatten your chops. close the pocket with toothpicks.

place them in your greased pan and salt and pepper the top.

bake for 20-30 minutes at 325 degrees with your squash pot bake.

the flavors of the fontina are woodsy, nutty and mushroomy. the prosciutto is salty. the chives are savory. making the sweet pork more flavorful. 

the squash pot only serves to accentuate that nutty woodsiness. try amuche-bouching them together for the one perfect bite.

plus, the sweet potato will be softer than the squash. it's a nice contrast in one dish.

if you're going to make them separately, cook the chops in a preheated oven at 325 degrees for about 20 minutes and the squash pot at 375 degrees for 30 to 45 minutes.

don't forget to follow my pinterest board, and stay tuned for the next episode of shit i'm making TONIGHT.

*once again, all shitty photos taken with my iphone. 

... how would you kill yourself?

hahahaha. what a great way to start a discussion about kitchen islands. :[| fu manchu mustachioed man does not approve of my joke. he really likes celine. and "titanic" is his favorite movie.

but no, i need your opinion. you know my kitchen? well, if you don't — this is it:

clearly, i've unpacked some stuff. so it looks like someone lives there now.

what i need is a kitchen island. because i have no counter space. 

but i'm trying to pick one. that's where YOU come in.

that cabinet/sink area is 32.5" long. i'm thinking my island should match about that size. 

why? so it doesn't sit in front of the fridge as to where i can't open it. or in front of the bathroom (the door is just barely out of the left side of the picture.) as to where i can't go into it.

i also think it should be on wheels. so if it gets in the way i can move it. 

i also think it should have a collapsable flap for dining at while seated on barstools.

i have a front-runner in mind, but i'm not going to tell you which one it is. 

which one would you choose?

this one's from overstock.com. no delivery service, so i'd have to schlep it up the stairs myself. but it's on sale today. so i could always pull that $40 ups trick i did with the air conditioner. (where for just $40 a guy carried all 68 pounds of it from my nearest ups and up my stairs FOR me.)

43"w by 19"/28"d by 36.5"h

$215

so, what say you? which one do YOU want to see in the background of all my cooking posts?

and, yes, you can find more on pinterest. 

so, how does it work? i pin the shit i'm making TONIGHT and then i make it. maybe according to directions, maybe not. i'm that kind of cook. then the next day i update my pin description as to how it went, what i did differently and (most importantly) how it tastes.

then i blog the recipes, always naming my source, of course.

last night in my counterless small-space nyc kitchen? lemon-parsely beef brisket from marksdailyapple and creamy lemon-chive zucchini noodles from martha stewart. i really wanted matching flavor profiles for my main and side. and i don't know if i can express how well these flavors went together. the two were a little soupy on the plate and they just melded beautifully together in this wonderfully yummy happy accident. it could be the wine drunk during the 3 hour cooking time talking, but i was in heaven.

somehow without any butter in the dishes at all, there was this overall butteriness to my plate. it's like the acidity of the lemons reacted with the meat and the cream to break down their flavors and bring out their inner-butter. 

plus. if you're in the dairy phase of your diet, the whole thing is totally paleo. 

what kind of wine goes with this meal, do you ask? well, not having made these recipes before, i was kind of winging it. so i went with an old standby: cab sauv.

now, knowing what i know, i'd go more peppery. i think a zinfandel could really complement the lemon-buttery flavor i experienced. or, if there were such thing as a peppery white wine ... maybe a gruner veltliner?

the meal is really rich. you don't want a "meaty" wine to distract you from the flavors. and the absence of root vegetables make the beef taste differently from there other things you've shoved in the oven for hours on end.

it was a nice surprise.

did i do anything differently than the recipe called for? not really. i added pepper to both. 

but my first instinct was to sauté the zucchini noodles in their dressing and some butter. i'm really glad i didn't, so i could experience them as intended. i was a little skeptical. but they were SO good as is. maybe i'll try cooking them tonight when i try my leftovers.

ok, enough preamble. let's do this.

lemon-parsley brisket

you'll need:
a 3 lb brisket
6 cloves garlic
2-4 pinches sea salt
freshly ground black pepper
the zest of a lemon
olive oil
the juice of 3 lemons
3 cups water
3 large leeks
a handful finely chopped parsley
an oven friendly pan with lid (or aluminum foil)

what you'll do:
bring your brisket to room temperature — yes, this step is important. and preheat your oven to 325 degrees.

while you do that wash your leeks and cut off the dark green parts. slice them down the middle, i actually quartered mine, and slice thinly. set aside. 

it's time to juice and zest your lemons. a couple tips:

next, finely chop your garlic cloves. what you want to do is make a paste out of the garlic. i'm assuming you could use a food processor to do this. but, there's no room for a food processor in my new yourk kitchen. so i followed the advice of the recipe.

i sprinkled the garlic with a large pinch of sea salt. (luckily, i was working on the section of my cutting board that i'd used to slice and zest my lemons. so the paste got all juicy and nice.) then you "crush" the garlic with the flat of your knife. really grind it down, using both hands. i chopped a little as i went. it really did end up as a paste. (please be careful.)

once you have your paste, mix it with the lemon zest, another large pinch of sea salt and some pepper. (i used a lot of pepper.) and rub about half of it all over your meat.

wash your hands and heat some olive oil, about 5 good splashes, in your oven safe pan over medium-high heat. how do you know if your pan is oven safe? i found a handy video.

luckily, my lid had a sticker on it that declared it not oven safe. so, the pan did fine with aluminum foil on top. i'd kinda assume your glass lid isn't oven safe unless it specifically says. there ARE some made out of pyrex that are oven safe.

anyway, sear your brisket on either side and remove the meat.

add your lemon juice and water to the pot and bring it to a boil. if there's any meat or garlic-zest stuck to the bottom, unstick it.

rub the rest of your garlic zest on your meat and put it back in the pan and place the leeks around it — not on top, cover with aluminum foil and throw it in the oven.

i did 2 hours and 45 minutes, then threw my parsley in and cooked for 15 more minutes, uncovered.

it worked out really well if i DO say so myself. i added salt and pepper and hunkered down to eat.

this was amazing. but i hear it will be even better tonight. we shall see.

halfway through cooking, i was dying of hunger. so i have a plate of the cold zucchini. and that's what made me decide not to cook it, it was THAT good.

creamy lemon-chive zucchini "noodles"

what you'll need:
the juice of one lemon
sea salt
1 cup light cream
a handful minced chives
2 medium zucchini
a veggie peeler
a small jar or lidded container

what you'll do:
first, you make the dressing. i hate recipes that tell you you'll need 1/4 cup creamy-lemon-chive-dressing and then send you off to another place to find that. so, we're going to start there here.

in your lidded container, combine the lemon juice and a large pinch of sea salt. shake it like a polaroid picture, or until the salt is dissolved.

add the cream and chives and shake again. in fact, shake it every time you use it. season it with salt. it'll last in your fridge up to a week. (but you'll want to eat it all up before then, i guarantee you.)

martha's recipe called for a julienne blade on a mandoline. fuck you, martha. not all of us have the kitchen storage of a media mogul. she even called for fleur de sel. fuck you someplace fairly uncomfortable, martha. regular sea salt did me fine.

so i peeled the zucchini and cut off the ends. then i used the exact same peeler to peel off ribbons. stop when you hit seeds. do this all around the zucchini and then throw the seedy middle away. who wants a seedy middle?

you're supposed to put it in a colander over a mixing bowl and sprinkle with salt. letting it sit for 15 minutes. then you're supposed to gently squeeze the zucchini to extract excess water. damn wine, i forgot.

so i just threw some on a plate, dressed it and ate it. i didn't notice it being excessively watery. so, again, take that martha.

you know what else wasn't very watery? 

sassy detox water (found here)

you'll need:
a lemon, sliced
a peeled cucumber, sliced
a tsp grated fresh ginger
about 10 fresh mint leaves
a quart and a half of water
a 2 quart pitcher

what you'll do:
throw it all in the pitcher and let it sit overnight. 

it's supposed to taste great, even as a substitute for soda or coffee. it's supposed to give you energy. it's supposed to make you feel great. it's supposed to jumpstart your metabolism. it's supposed to help you lose weight. 

i had to MAKE myself drink it this morning. it was so gross. it's no soda or coffee, trust me. i don't have any more energy. i don't feel any better — or worse, to be fair. my metabolism seems to be metabolizing at a regular rate. and i haven't miraculously shed any pounds.

in fact, i kind of feel like a slugged down a laxative with a fiber-spiked cup of decaf coffee. in short, gross.

i guess that just proves that not all things you see on pinterest are worth pinning. which is exactly why you should follow my board. 

what am i having tonight, you wonder? probably leftovers. i've been thinking about them all day. i might have to try a different wine, though. oh, and i have no microwave. so i'll have to get all old-skool on the reheat. 

i'll let you know if the brisket is truly better the next day.

what do you want me to try next? i have a "things are getting paleo up in here" board and a "great, now i'm hungry" board to choose from. because i'm not paleo. i just date one. or, suggest a pin you've always wanted to try. i pretty much eat anything. except babies, so no lamb or veal.

happy pinning!

*all shitty photos taken with my about to be replaced iphone 3GS.

but somehow, i'm gonna make lemon-parsely brisket tonight with creamy zucchini noodles on the side. and a refreshingly light detox drink. 

get ready for a funny post tomorrow, and pin my new pinterest board: "shit i'm making TONIGHT." and we'll see how long i can keep this one-off topic up ...

there are 3 things that are paramount when making greens:

1. a good potsticker. every time you make greens, you save the "juice." that serves as your base for your next batch. it's called "potsticker." i've been working on mine now for years. seriously. i'm going to have to figure out how to dry ice it and mail it up to new york. again, seriously.

2. wash them real good. then wash them again. then wash them again. greens are gritty. and sandy. and buggy. especially when you buy local. and you literally have to wash them for about an hour. don't believe me? ask my intern.

3. and then you cook the fuck out of 'em. greens are bitter. and if you don't cook them long enough, they stay bitter. and no one wants bitter greens. do yourself a favor and cook them until they're darker in color, kinda mushy and not bitter at all. all you should really taste is your potsticker. if you taste green, cook them longer. remember, greens aren't done until they're done.

ingredients:
two bunches of greens (they cook WAY down)
a yellow onion
a couple garlic cloves
a ham hock or two (they come packaged as two)
potsticker (or chicken stock if you're just starting out)
chicken stock
vinegar (white, tarragon or champagne. not apple cider, balsamic or red wine)
cayenne pepper
ground mustard
garlic powder
celery salt
salt&pepper

how do you wash greens? it's called a "white bowl wash." basically, you wash it in a colander while you remove the spines. then you soak it in a white bowl. then you colander it again. then you bowl it again. and you keep doing this until there's no grit at the bottom of your bowl. see the grit (above)? gross.

then you lay it out on paper towels to dry.

if you need to defrost your potsticker, do that before you start washing.

chop up your onion and garlic and sauté them in some hot olive oil in your pot. as they start to get translucent, add the ham hock. let that cook a little, just to get the smell of ham in the air and let the taste soak into the onions.

then you pour in your potsticker/chicken stock.

how do you cut greens quickly and efficiently? pile them all up (into about 4 or 5 bundles) and roll them like a cigar. grasp the bundle and slice it length-wise down the middle. then slice small sections all down the length — about 10-12.

throw your greens in the pot. pour in enough chicken stock to cover the greens.

keep it on medium-high heat until it boils. then turn it on down to simmer for 3 hours (or more).

add vinegar and spices to taste. it will take a lot.

save the potsticker for next time, throw out the ham hock and eat you some greens.

what do you drink while making greens?

moonshine. but i didn't have any.

so i did sake. whatevs.