Category:

shhhh ... it's a secret

10/17/2012

wow, it's been a while. basically, because the one and only thing that's been on my mind is not my thing to share. so i can't. and i'm worried i'll let it slip the more i type.

but, you can keep a secret, right? so can i, bitches.

i remember before i started typing my thoughts onto this blog i said, "i don't blog because i'm afraid people will read it. i don't tweet because i'm afraid people won't." first it was a facebook status, then it was this:

see? i said that.

why did i worry people would read my blog? because i was afraid i'd censor myself. i'm crazy weird on the inside and think totally inappropriate things that sometimes just fall out of my mouth. and maybe you'd think i'm weird. or maybe you wouldn't like what i had to say. or maybe i'm not the person you think i am.

so with that in mind, why was i afraid no one would read me on twitter? because weird feels more appropriate 140 characters at a time? no. because it's a social sharing engine. you want people to read you. you expect them to read you. so you tone the weird down.

and then somehow people started reading the blog. and it seemed no one was reading my tweets. so i was right.

and twitter became my safe place where i could say "penis" for no reason or share my political beliefs without the Facebook nazi's belittling them or even just put a "secret" out there into the ether if i needed to get it off my chest. until this happened:

no, it's not just that my mom doesn't do twitter. but it was funnier that way. it seemed like no one at all was listening. and somehow, i had a little privacy and anonymity on a social network.

and that wasn't all. but it was the beginning. a tweet about my safespace, twitter, was favorited. retweeted. responded to. people sent me personal emails. they'd heard me.

and now, shit, you're reading it too. so now that my entire brain is consumed by this thing i can't tell, i feel like i can't say anything else. because you're listening. and i might slip up.

then i read about this guy:

he's not a real guy. i mean, he's a real guy. but we'll call him "that guy" and "this guy" because we don't know what to call him.

since 2007, some guy has tweeted and facebooked as that guy, "dave on wheels," a 24-year-old deaf quadriplegic with cerebral palsy. but he's not that guy. that guy's name isn't even dave. it's hunter.

i mean, what that guy did was wrong. he says he was trying to be a motivational inspiration. and to many he was. but he's also been accused of pretending to be that guy to get close online with pretty girls. and he was close online with a lot of pretty girls. (seems like a kinda fair accusation)

but that doesn't mean that i can't just take his lead and go be someone else, right? why couldn't i just go off and blog/tweet/book as " beyond bridgette" or "susie smiles" and spill my secret?

but, dammit. it's still not my secret to tell.

so you'll have to wait for new apartment photos, to know which kitchen island i chose, or for the "black steak chimichurri" "shit i'm making TONIGHT" pinterest post. because i'm currently consumed by this secret that isn't even mine.

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if you were stranded on an island and could only take one celine dion album ...

10/2/2012

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... how would you kill yourself?

hahahaha. what a great way to start a discussion about kitchen islands. :[| fu manchu mustachioed man does not approve of my joke. he really likes celine. and "titanic" is his favorite movie.

but no, i need your opinion. you know my kitchen? well, if you don't — this is it:

clearly, i've unpacked some stuff. so it looks like someone lives there now.

what i need is a kitchen island. because i have no counter space.

but i'm trying to pick one. that's where YOU come in.

that cabinet/sink area is 32.5" long. i'm thinking my island should match about that size.

why? so it doesn't sit in front of the fridge as to where i can't open it. or in front of the bathroom (the door is just barely out of the left side of the picture.) as to where i can't go into it.

i also think it should be on wheels. so if it gets in the way i can move it.

i also think it should have a collapsable flap for dining at while seated on barstools.

i have a front-runner in mind, but i'm not going to tell you which one it is.

which one would you choose?

this one's from crate and barrel. they have a delivery service, which is nice.

44.25"w by 20.5"/30.5"d by 36.5"h

$499

this one's from overstock.com. no delivery service, so i'd have to schlep it up the stairs myself. but it's on sale today. so i could always pull that $40 ups trick i did with the air conditioner. (where for just $40 a guy carried all 68 pounds of it from my nearest ups and up my stairs FOR me.)

43"w by 19"/28"d by 36.5"h

$215

this one's from safaviehome.com. there's a safavie home store in my neighborhood. i wonder if i bought it there if they deliver?

31.9"w by ?"/31.9"d by 32.7"h

$395, including stools

target.com this time. so same delivery conundrum.

this one also has an unfinished top so i'd have to seal it with something, possibly mineral oil.

32"w by ?"/32"d by 36"h

$249.99

this one, from jcpenney.com is the most interesting looking one. it's actually a steam-trunk bar with flip out flaps on the sides.

apparently, it's REALLY hard to put together.

and it has the same delivery problems of some of the others.

30"/60"w by 19"d by 41"h

$600

homedepot.com makes an appearance. which has the same delivery question as safavie home — since there's one in my neighborhood.

cool trash bin function in the back. no flip out.

38"w by 20"d by 34"h

$539

have you ever heard of ekitchenislands.com? me neither. but i like the trashcan cabinet. although there's no flip ledge. i'm assuming i'd have to figure out delivery.

35"w by 17.5"d by 35"h

$229.95

last one, from the same place as the above. it also doesn't have the flip out ledge for barstools. but it comes with that marble inset.

43"w by 17.71"w by 35.83"h

$360.99

so, what say you? which one do YOU want to see in the background of all my cooking posts?

and, yes, you can find more on pinterest.

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shit i'm making TONIGHT

10/2/2012

1 Comment

so, how does it work? i pin the shit i'm making TONIGHT and then i make it. maybe according to directions, maybe not. i'm that kind of cook. then the next day i update my pin description as to how it went, what i did differently and (most importantly) how it tastes.

then i blog the recipes, always naming my source, of course.

last night in my counterless small-space nyc kitchen? lemon-parsely beef brisket from marksdailyapple and creamy lemon-chive zucchini noodles from martha stewart. i really wanted matching flavor profiles for my main and side. and i don't know if i can express how well these flavors went together. the two were a little soupy on the plate and they just melded beautifully together in this wonderfully yummy happy accident. it could be the wine drunk during the 3 hour cooking time talking, but i was in heaven.

somehow without any butter in the dishes at all, there was this overall butteriness to my plate. it's like the acidity of the lemons reacted with the meat and the cream to break down their flavors and bring out their inner-butter.

plus. if you're in the dairy phase of your diet, the whole thing is totally paleo.

what kind of wine goes with this meal, do you ask? well, not having made these recipes before, i was kind of winging it. so i went with an old standby: cab sauv.

now, knowing what i know, i'd go more peppery. i think a zinfandel could really complement the lemon-buttery flavor i experienced. or, if there were such thing as a peppery white wine ... maybe a gruner veltliner?

the meal is really rich. you don't want a "meaty" wine to distract you from the flavors. and the absence of root vegetables make the beef taste differently from there other things you've shoved in the oven for hours on end.

it was a nice surprise.

did i do anything differently than the recipe called for? not really. i added pepper to both.

but my first instinct was to sauté the zucchini noodles in their dressing and some butter. i'm really glad i didn't, so i could experience them as intended. i was a little skeptical. but they were SO good as is. maybe i'll try cooking them tonight when i try my leftovers.

ok, enough preamble. let's do this.

lemon-parsley brisket

you'll need:
a 3 lb brisket
6 cloves garlic
2-4 pinches sea salt
freshly ground black pepper
the zest of a lemon
olive oil
the juice of 3 lemons
3 cups water
3 large leeks
a handful finely chopped parsley
an oven friendly pan with lid (or aluminum foil)

what you'll do:
bring your brisket to room temperature — yes, this step is important. and preheat your oven to 325 degrees.

while you do that wash your leeks and cut off the dark green parts. slice them down the middle, i actually quartered mine, and slice thinly. set aside.

it's time to juice and zest your lemons. a couple tips:

before you cut open a lemon for juicing, roll it with pressure, using the palm and heel of your hand on a flat surface until it feels softer.

there are all kinds of fancy lemon juice strainers out there. i just use my hand.

i squeeze the lemon into it and let my fingers filter out the seeds. i imagine that's the way my grandma would do it ...

you just don't want to have a paper cut or a hangnail.

lemon zest can seem to take forever. but remember to scrape the back of your grater to get the stage 5 clingers left there. lemon zest is pretty sticky.

next, finely chop your garlic cloves. what you want to do is make a paste out of the garlic. i'm assuming you could use a food processor to do this. but, there's no room for a food processor in my new yourk kitchen. so i followed the advice of the recipe.

i sprinkled the garlic with a large pinch of sea salt. (luckily, i was working on the section of my cutting board that i'd used to slice and zest my lemons. so the paste got all juicy and nice.) then you "crush" the garlic with the flat of your knife. really grind it down, using both hands. i chopped a little as i went. it really did end up as a paste. (please be careful.)

once you have your paste, mix it with the lemon zest, another large pinch of sea salt and some pepper. (i used a lot of pepper.) and rub about half of it all over your meat.

wash your hands and heat some olive oil, about 5 good splashes, in your oven safe pan over medium-high heat. how do you know if your pan is oven safe? i found a handy video.

luckily, my lid had a sticker on it that declared it not oven safe. so, the pan did fine with aluminum foil on top. i'd kinda assume your glass lid isn't oven safe unless it specifically says. there ARE some made out of pyrex that are oven safe.

seared

anyway, sear your brisket on either side and remove the meat.

add your lemon juice and water to the pot and bring it to a boil. if there's any meat or garlic-zest stuck to the bottom, unstick it.

rub the rest of your garlic zest on your meat and put it back in the pan and place the leeks around it — not on top, cover with aluminum foil and throw it in the oven.

i did 2 hours and 45 minutes, then threw my parsley in and cooked for 15 more minutes, uncovered.

it worked out really well if i DO say so myself. i added salt and pepper and hunkered down to eat.

this was amazing. but i hear it will be even better tonight. we shall see.

halfway through cooking, i was dying of hunger. so i have a plate of the cold zucchini. and that's what made me decide not to cook it, it was THAT good.

creamy lemon-chive zucchini "noodles"

what you'll need:
the juice of one lemon
sea salt
1 cup light cream
a handful minced chives
2 medium zucchini
a veggie peeler
a small jar or lidded container

what you'll do:
first, you make the dressing. i hate recipes that tell you you'll need 1/4 cup creamy-lemon-chive-dressing and then send you off to another place to find that. so, we're going to start there here.

in your lidded container, combine the lemon juice and a large pinch of sea salt. shake it like a polaroid picture, or until the salt is dissolved.

add the cream and chives and shake again. in fact, shake it every time you use it. season it with salt. it'll last in your fridge up to a week. (but you'll want to eat it all up before then, i guarantee you.)

martha's recipe called for a julienne blade on a mandoline. fuck you, martha. not all of us have the kitchen storage of a media mogul. she even called for fleur de sel. fuck you someplace fairly uncomfortable, martha. regular sea salt did me fine.

so i peeled the zucchini and cut off the ends. then i used the exact same peeler to peel off ribbons. stop when you hit seeds. do this all around the zucchini and then throw the seedy middle away. who wants a seedy middle?

you're supposed to put it in a colander over a mixing bowl and sprinkle with salt. letting it sit for 15 minutes. then you're supposed to gently squeeze the zucchini to extract excess water. damn wine, i forgot.

so i just threw some on a plate, dressed it and ate it. i didn't notice it being excessively watery. so, again, take that martha.

you know what else wasn't very watery?

sassy detox water (found here)

you'll need:
a lemon, sliced
a peeled cucumber, sliced
a tsp grated fresh ginger
about 10 fresh mint leaves
a quart and a half of water
a 2 quart pitcher

what you'll do:
throw it all in the pitcher and let it sit overnight.

it's supposed to taste great, even as a substitute for soda or coffee. it's supposed to give you energy. it's supposed to make you feel great. it's supposed to jumpstart your metabolism. it's supposed to help you lose weight.

i had to MAKE myself drink it this morning. it was so gross. it's no soda or coffee, trust me. i don't have any more energy. i don't feel any better — or worse, to be fair. my metabolism seems to be metabolizing at a regular rate. and i haven't miraculously shed any pounds.

in fact, i kind of feel like a slugged down a laxative with a fiber-spiked cup of decaf coffee. in short, gross.

i guess that just proves that not all things you see on pinterest are worth pinning. which is exactly why you should follow my board.

what am i having tonight, you wonder? probably leftovers. i've been thinking about them all day. i might have to try a different wine, though. oh, and i have no microwave. so i'll have to get all old-skool on the reheat.

i'll let you know if the brisket is truly better the next day.

what do you want me to try next? i have a "things are getting paleo up in here" board and a "great, now i'm hungry" board to choose from. because i'm not paleo. i just date one. or, suggest a pin you've always wanted to try. i pretty much eat anything. except babies, so no lamb or veal.

happy pinning!

*all shitty photos taken with my about to be replaced iphone 3GS.

1 Comment

what a difference a day makes

9/15/2012

3 Comments

the apartment is trucking right along. i unpacked the bedroom today.

i hired a handyman to come on thursday. the ac and cable guys come tuesday. i ordered a piece of the same sectional i have, so my couch will be longer but not chaisey.

and i moved the buffet so that i'd have room for an island.

i even hung shit on the wall, removed the closet doors and hung curtains in their place — hinging them together to make a screen out of them.

i DID have a couple snafus, though.

i dream of hanging shoe racks as curtains on one of the windows. so i went to home depot for a stud finder, knowing it would weigh a lot. they sent me home instead with butterfly clips. (i think they were butterfly clips. three 1/2 holes drilled later, and it didn't work.

i also bought bed risers for under bed storage. the legs of my bed are too wide for them. so i tried to cut a groove with a utility knife. yeah, no, they're going back tomorrow.

the handyman is going to have his work cut out for him ;{

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moving in day

9/15/2012

2 Comments

what did i do while guys shoved shit into my new apartment? i guarded the truck.

not from passerby or thieves, but from cops and meter maids.

not sure if you can see it, but there's a "no parking" sign there.

even a sign that proclaims that if you dare to idle over 3 minutes it's a $2000 fine.

one that says "no standing at any time" is being obscured by the truck.

without supervision, i was left with this:

furniture in the wrong rooms. boxes stacked so i couldn't even get to my fridge. my purse. my toilet.

they really wanted to leave because of the truck situation.

and i was overwhelmed. so i let them. crazy sauce.

several hot and sweaty hours later, i had this:

and it's all laid out according to my plan.

BUT. i won't have room for the island. upon lamenting about this, a friend suggested i turn the china cabinet along the wall with the heater and mount the tv to the wall on an arm.

i think i'm going to try that layout today.

the other thing i'm upset about is the chaise to the sofa.

i can't lay on that sofa. i'm a tall girl.

my mom suggested i get an ottoman to put at the end of it, kind of like an extension.

not a bad idea. i think i'll take a look at west elm to see if there's anything that might go well with my existing sofa.

i really wish i could find a way to make the chaise work. any ideas?

i'll cook the winner a chicken dinner. (5 points if you know the reference.)

things i have left to do are finish unpacking, get an island, figure out what to do with the boxes, buy bed lifts, and hire a handyman.

i need him to do a few things: hang my shelves above my sofa, mount my tv to the wall, hang blinds in two windows, and build me a storage ledge over the front door.

again, any suggestions?

i'm going to attempt curtain rods on my own. if that goes well, maybe i'll go for the blinds. but the other stuff involves being able to put weight on things. and i'm not sure i'm up to that ...

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spaced planning

9/13/2012

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when it comes to space planning in a crazy small space: measure twice, write it down once. because if you're like me, you get home and don't remember what all the measurements corresponded to. i did a lot of "feet or inches?" when i got home.

but, i'm getting ahead of myself. i'm downsizing. not by choice, but my location. i recently took a job in manhattan from north carolina.

and went from this ...

... to this.

how do i plan to have tomorrow's move-in go smoothly? well, i put some skills i failed at and then later retook for a passing grade to work. good work, i hope.

so, here it is: rachel's space planning 101 for small nyc apartments.

you'll need:
a tape measurer
graph paper
a pen or pencil
scissors
a ruler
a camera
patience/wine

frist thing you do is measure all your furniture in the 1200 sq ft lap of luxury that you're leaving. be sure to get the width, length, heighth and depth of every piece, including rugs. and if it has doors or drawers on it, measure with those open as well.

then you find a tiny small apartment to live in. when they hand you the keys, excitedly run over to measure every nook an cranny.

make sure you measure the wall space between windows and how much space a door takes up when open. why? the space between windows is positive space: you can use it — but there are a lot of pieces you can't put in front of a window. the space a door takes up is negative space: you can't use it — the door is using it. (although if it's an interior door, you can always remove it.)

measure the ceiling height, this is important to know when figuring out the btu output rating of the window ac unit you'll need. plus, most storage solutions build UP. since you can't build DOWN into the floor.

look around for odd spaces or spaces you'd normally not use. chances are you'll have to find a way to use them. measure them.

figure out how much space is between the window and the floor. and is there a strange, long 4 inch heating element that runs the length of your room? that affects furniture placement. measure it.

draw a rudimentary skecth of the room with your notes.

and take pictures while you're there for goodness sake. of everything. even if it seems elementary at the time.

then: draw your room to scale.

i did every square equals half a foot. if i did less, the room was too small for me to play with. more, and i'd need bigger sheets of graph paper.

you'll have to figure out your own scale conversion.

remember: you can always tape sheets together.

tip:
i found it helpful to number the feet around the edges for measuring reference.

i also used a ruler. it made me feel more professional.

then you cut yourself out your pieces of furniture to scale, based on your measurements and you're in business.

always remember door clearances and movement allowances. here's where I first landed:

living room

i was ecstatic. i'd found ways to bring a shit ton of my furniture.

then, i remembered i'd wanted to get an island or other counterspace for the kitchen.

remember the kitchen? yeah, tiny.

so, i needed to make sure i had space for this:

island from C&B

if i wanted that island, i'd be giving up the chaise attached to my sofa.

so be it.

i'd even fallen into the same trap in my bedroom. i just turned the wardrobe the other way.

bedroom

so, i threw that bad boy on there.

it looked nice, it looked like it fit.

so i went to bed.

then i woke up in a panic.

of course all that furniture wasn't going to fit. the apartment would be unlivable.

because I had't taken into consideration me.

i need at least two feet to walk, more comfortably three feet.

i'd be crawling over shit with that plan.

so here's where i netted out:

but each and every time i liked a design, i took a pic. i tried scenarios with more furniture than i ended up with and scenarios with less.

but i knew it when i saw it. and we'll see if my multiple games of tetris paid off as guys shove shit into my apartment all day tomorrow.

look for more small space solutions coming soon. 'cause i've been freaking out ;)

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juxtapartmentalize

9/13/2012

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this.

this is where i used to live.

1200 sq ft. 2 bed, 2 bath.

screened in front porch. storage locker. parking space.

full-size fridge. dishwasher. central air.

closet space. washer/dryer. actual kitchen and dining room.

let's bask in it for a moment:

master bed

livingroom

full size stove and oven

master bath

guest bed

dining room

dishwasher

guest bath

i got the keys to my new apartment yesterday. i ran over in a joy and left dejectedly in a snit. i measured every nook and cranny of that tiny-assed bitch. just so i could stay up all night and figure out what to do with all my shit.

take a gander:

the living room

the only bedroom

the kitchen and dining room sans dishwasher. (sans full sized fridge too)

the only bathroom

i'm really hoping i got my math wrong on the square footage, so i'm not even going to mention it. i DID, however come up with a nifty way to space plan the furniture dilemma away. (i'm hoping i did the math RIGHT this time.)

i'm gonna take a second and share that with you too. in a later post. I'M gonna take a second. not give YOU a second. geez.

stay tuned.

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shhhh ... it's a secret

if you were stranded on an island and could only take one celine dion album ...

shit i'm making TONIGHT

what a difference a day makes

moving in day

spaced planning

juxtapartmentalize

Rachel

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