the first mattism i'll share with you has to do with channing tatum. yes, this guy:
as we left the theater, i commented that tatum's (why he has two ambiguous names that could each be both first or last, i don't know.) agent is pretty smart for following up 'the vow' with a movie like 'jump street.'
and that his agent was always pretty good about it: 'she's the man,' 'dear john,' and 'step up' were all pretty well balanced with 'g.i. joe,' 'fighting' and 'stop loss.' and , yes, i credited these decisions to his agent, because — as i put it at the time — tatum "looks like he was hit in the back of the head with a shovel at a young age."
the. guy. looks. dumb.
you can't deny it. he looks like he's not the brightest bulb in the knife drawer. is it that he's too pretty? some would say. is it because i'm mean that i say it? many would agree.
but, i honestly think it's the vacancy in his eyes and the confused-highschool-bully gait he carries himself with. i'm sure he's a great guy. no doubt. but he looks as smart as a bag of bricks in a toilet-paper-softness test.
finally, enter the mattism: the channing scale. as in, "oh, say, what's that guy over there on the channing scale of one to ten?" not "is that guy dumb or what?!?" more like, "i wonder, is your preconceived notion that the young gentleman to your 2 o'clock would be bright or dull?"
he'd like me to point out at the is time that he actually likes tatum. i say it's because of the aforementioned admirable job his agent is doing at appealing to multiple audiences and not allowing him to be typecast as the dumb guy ...